When I read the devotional, I did the little exercise noted there:
Duane is patient and kind. Duane is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. He does not demand its own way. He is not irritable, and he keeps no record of being wronged. He does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Duane never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
I apologize that I am not all of those things. I never thought about putting my name in place of love in that passage. I guess I never I thought I deserved to be in the same sentence as "love". That was the little humbleness I have talking there rather than low self-esteem!
I have been struggling with loving some folks this week. Folks that weren't kind to me. Folks that didn't return my love or affection. Folks that tried to place all the blame for our relationship problems and their relationship problems directly on my shoulders. While I have done some very loving and unselfish things this year, I still struggle with being a "tit-for-tat" kind of Christian. You slap me. I slap you back. I struggle with loving others while still getting my own needs met. I am trying to rely on God more.
The last line also struck me hard this morning: Duane never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I felt like I lost some of my faith this week due to some situations that I encountered. There are feelings of guilt for doubting God. There are feelings are anger that I thought I was trusting God and having faith only to have a few situations blow up in my face. I was sooooooo sure about something only to find out that I was totally wrong. I am reluctant to speak about God's plan for my life or to even seek it fervently in feat of being totally wrong again. I hate being wrong.... ;-p
Please pray that I will never give up, never lose faith, will always be hopeful, and will endure through every circumstance. In all honesty and sincerity, that is what I do....
Lord, you know my heart. Help me to know yours.
Foodie Friday
Here is the recipe I "adjusted" to make an apple pumpkin streusel pie. It turned out great when I made it for my dinner group last Sunday.
Apple Pumpkin Struesel Pie
Ingredients
1 1/2 cups canned pumpkin puree
1 1/2 cups pureed apple pie filling (I took pie filling and pureed it in my food processor)
1 (9 inch) unbaked deep dish pie crust
STREUSEL TOPPING:
3 tablespoons butter
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/3 cup dark brown sugar
1/2 cup chopped pecans
Directions
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2. In a large bowl, combine pumpkin, pureed apple pie filling. Pour into prepared pie shell.
3. Bake in preheated oven for 50 to 60 minutes, or until a knife inserted 2 inches from the center comes out clean. Sprinkle streusel topping over the pie, and bake for an additional 15 minutes.
4. To make the streusel topping: In a small bowl, combine butter, flour, and 1/3 cup brown sugar. Stir until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Stir in pecans.
Add some whipped topping and you have a wonderful treat!
Other Stuff
As you can tell from my Our Daily Bread entry today, I had an interesting week! I laughed, I cried, and I sang Christmas songs! I am fine. The Thomas Merton prayer keeps coming to mind. I am reading it several times per day to keep myself grounded and looking to God for faith, hope and direction.
I have a nice evening planned with a close friend. I have several things planned for the weekend. I am looking forward to some time off the next few weeks culminating in my next travel adventure - Ft Lauderdale. Woohooooo!
I realize that the holidays can be a challenge. There is pressure to be a superhero and get all the right gifts and look all happy and stuff when you really don't feel like it on the inside. I am fortunate that I feel like being happy on the inside almost all the time. Thank you God! Life has its challenges all year round. If you are having some winter or holiday doldrums, take a look around at all you have. Be thankful. Give to others. Tis the season.
Hang in there, my friends! I will be upbeat and steady. That is what I do...
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