With the touch of His hand...

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There is a song by the Newsboys called Rescue that goes something like this:

Then You rescued me, rescued me

Lord, with a touch of Your hand

Another captive free again

Who else in heaven could do this but You?

You rescued me, rescued me

Lord, with a love out of mind

Oh, You know I love it when

Everyday I am rescued again

I understand the point of today's devotional to be this -- if we know Christ, we should share Christ. To put things in context so my little brain can understand, I think of it this way. If you got this box of HoHo's that never runs out of the delicious little cakes, wouldn't you want to share the tasty joy with all of your friends? hehehe Imagine having a gift infinitely more incredible than chocolate, cake and a creme filling to share with others!

A better example is the experience many passengers had when the pilot landed the damaged airplane in the Hudson River last year. His amazing skill and the expertise of the flight attendants saved the lives of the passengers. Did you hear anyone walk away from that experience NOT saying "Wow, he saved our lives!" Nope! Christ saved our lives in a spiritual way and for some of us, in a physical way as well as He helped us change the way we live. We should not walk away from that experience in silence!

Lord, please help me to share with others the joy and hope that you have given me.

iTunes Tuesday

There are some doozies coming out on DVD this week. I have to admit that I missed every single one of them at the theater!

Marmaduke

Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too?

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (Blu-ray)

The Evil Dead (Blu-ray)

Harry Brown

Red Riding Trilogy

9th Company

OSS 117: Lost in Rio

Spread

Oh well. Didn't look for new music this week. I want to look for some new walking music. I am getting tired of the old stuff on my iPod. I will let you know what I find.

Other Stuff

I called the doctor's office several times yesterday, but couldn't get my MRI test results. I will call again today. I would rather not wait until Wednesday when he is in his Westerville office, but I may have to wait. Heavy sigh....

Did a little vacation shopping, got my car serviced and took a walk last night. I plan to attend the New Life fund raiser tonight. The location is only about a mile from my house!

Today is my mother's birthday. I already got her present and sent her card. I will call her this morning to wish her a good day.

Babble, Babel, Babble...

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Have you ever tried talking to someone who doesn't speak your language? I mean someone from a foreign country, not a teenager! I learned a new word last week from TFU's kids -- chillax (relax and chill).

The devotional this morning talks about initiating a friendship or witness by establishing a common language or interest. It could be soccer, lawn care, or in Columbus, The Ohio State Buckeyes! OH--IO! Establishing this basic link starts the process of forming a bond of some kind. It happens in all kinds of relationships whether they are basic friendships or something deeper.

We also need to work on our common language with God. God gave us the Bible and instructions on how to have a personal relationship with Him so we can establish our common language. We build on that common language to build our relationship that will last for eternity.

Lord, help me listen and understand your language. I know you understand mine!

Movie Monday

I saw two movies this week: Scott Pilgrim vs the World and Eat Pray Love. You might say "Wow! Those are very different movies!" Yes, they were. I like some variety as long as they aren't "chick movies". Nothing against those, but I am usually not into them very much.

Scott Pilgrim: This as a very creative movie. The story line was interesting. Scott meets the girl of his dreams (literally from his dreams). To date her, he has to defeat her seven evil ex's sort of like he is playing a video game. There are very cool special effects that I didn't expect. There were some interesting plot twists and a cute ending. The special effects would be nice to see at the theater, but not required. I give this movie two paws.

Eat Pray Love: I saw this movie because of the cinematography. I ended up getting some things out of it! My favorite part was when a mentor told Julia Roberts' character to "wish him peace and love, then drop it" after she complained about thinking about her ex-husband too much. That was worth the price of admission! Abot 2/3 way through the movie I figured out the movie is what I am going through right now! In the last four months, I gained back the 26 pounds I lost earlier this year (EAT). I am in the middle of taking more alone time and praying and seeking God's direction (PRAY). I will be patient for the last section to start if the pattern happens for me! ;-) Not counting on it, but it would be nice! The medicine man had great advice for Julia at the end. Pay attention to that! I give this movie 2 paws as well.

See you at the movies!

Other Stuff

I had an "unplanned" day yesterday. Yes, I am very capable of that! I went to the early service at church. I felt pretty good when I cam home, so I took the walk I have been working up to all summer - the five mile walk from my house around Sharon Woods Park and back! I survived! Woohoooo! I stretched out and had a protein drink when I got home. I was a little sore later, but feel fine this morning. I also did some stuff around the house like finish the laundry and pack for my trip.

I will check with the doctor about the results from the MRI on Friday. I will post what I find out. I will be upbeat. I will have faith. That is what I do...

How can we keep from singing?

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Being a singer, there are usually only a few things that can keep me from singing -- laryngitis, other health issues or a busy schedule. The past few years I have had all three happen to me at one time or another, sometimes all at once! To be frank, my eye issues prevented me from singing for a while because I had trouble reading the music.

Even though we can't sing in a formal setting on a regular basis, the message of the devotional and the psalm is that we can keep singing in our hearts with songs of love and praise. Regardless of our circumstances or our health issues, we can still keep the songs in our heart flowing to God.

You never know how the songs in your heart will affect you and affect other people. I was humming a contemporary Christian song in the elevator at work the other day. Someone grinned at me and said "Thank you. I needed to hear someone be happy today". Wow! There have been many times that the song in my heart uplifted my weary mind.

Lord, please help keep the songs in my heart, and maybe share them with others when you want me to.

Friendship Sunday

The friend I want to talk about this week is actually a group of friends - The Dinner Group (TDG). We have 12 folks in our dinner group from church. I have been very fortunate to find some small chosen families at church. This group is especially important to me for several reasons.

First, it is a diverse group of folks. Married, single, straight, gay, men, women, varying in age, varying in career choices, etc. We are always learning more about each other every time we meet.

Second, there is stability in the relationship. Even though we are supposed to take the summer off or join a new group each year, we decided we wanted to retain this little family. We know who will bring a great new dish each month. We know who we want to bring our favorite dip each month because we all love it so much. We also know that I sort of suck at cooking and they accept me any way!

Lastly, we care about each other. The flow emails, texts and phone calls are sincere and timely. That is what makes a chosen family so special. The caring is by choice and not our blood obligation.

Please note that I didn't try to compare TDG to the Gilligan's Island castaways. There is really no comparison to anything I have experienced before.

Other stuff

I had a lazy day on Saturday! Went to a movie, took a nap and went to a cookout! I did a few errands and a couple of loads of laundry as well. The cookout was very nice. It was for the friends and families of my walking buddy's work place. I met a lot of new people, which was a lot of fun. The weather was perfect. The house was awesome. The company was better. I watched my DVR of Warehouse 13 when I got home. I think that is my new favorite show.

Almost a flaw...

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We had a silly joke in high school about the scripture passage from today's devotional. Jesus delivered his wise saying of "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her". After a few moments of silence, a single stone zipped threw the crowd striking the woman on the forehead. Jesus looked around and said "Awwwwww, Mom!" If you need me to explain that one, let me know. hehehe

I have trouble many times with being slow to speak. I am usually an outgoing, witty, engaged kind of person. I think fast and too often speak too quickly. The results can be fun or tragic, depending on who I am around!

The line in the devotional that hit me like a ton of bricks was this one: "Listen to God before you speak for God." DOH! Listen TO God before you speak FOR God. I remember trying a trick when I was child where I would tell my brother "Oh, Mom said you had to do this" without really listening to what my Mom said (if she said it at all). We can't play those kinds of games with God. The results are usually not fun, just tragic, when we try to push our own agenda in the name of God.

Lord, help me to listen before speaking and speak only after having been spoken to.

Simply Saturday Almost a flaw

So the first week after my 51st birthday has been a wacky one. Work was busier than I wanted. I had some medical tests. I was able to schedule the MRI on Friday morning. I should get the results back in the next few days.

I decided this week that regardless of how I feel, I need to be more disciplined about my eating. I go back and forth, up and down, whatever, with my eating habits. I have been walking for my exercise. I probably need to exercise a little more as well. I have some exercise restrictions due to my eye issues, so I won't be pumping iron at the gym any time soon.

I have a big vacation to San Francisco coming up soon. I am looking forward to that. My best friend and I are great travel buddies. We should have a wonderful time.

I also have a weekend trip to Cincinnati planned the last weekend in September. I plan to visit the RenFest in Wilmington and see South Pacific in Cincy. I booked a night at the downtown Westin to relax after the show. I am not sure if I will ask someone to go with me (just to the show, not the hotel room) or sell my extra ticket. I will figure that out in the next few weeks.

What is the "almost a flaw" title of today's entry about? I still try to be friends with guys that want to stop seeing me for whatever reason. Even though the dear john letter on Monday was odd to me, I promised the guy that I would be his friend regardless of what happened between us. I need to get it through my head that it takes two people to be friends. I have a tendency to stress out too much about the other person not participating. I appreciate the opportunity for growth from this friendship, however short-lived. I will move on.

Lastly, I started some follow up sessions with my therapist the beginning of this month. I hadn't seen him in about six months. We have great talks about the things in my life, especially about how to deal with my feelings. I bottled up my feelings deep inside for most of my life. I think that is why I can be wound a little tight sometimes. The big revelation this week was that just because I have feelings and recognize them, that I don't have to act on them. That is difficult for me since I am a "doer". My course of action til now is to act on the feelings that I have. I didn't realize until this week that course of action can be selfish. Dumping your feelings and running (or staying) can hurt more than get things out in the open. There is someone that I have strong feelings for, but I can never discuss it with him. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he doesn't feel the same way about me. I will acknowledge my feelings as valid and keep them to myself. I am very happy to have this man in my life. I don't want to jeopardize that friendship.

Going to a cookout tonight with my walking buddy. We are supposed to have nice weather again today. I had a great evening in the Short North last night. Good times!

Squirrel!

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There was a popular movie that joked about how short the attention span of the main character was -- all it took was a squirrel to run by to distract him! I have a joke with some of my friends that my attention can be diverted simply and easily by something "shiny". Shiny can be a lot of things: a new gadget, a handsome man walking by, the thought of an upcoming vacation, whatever "shiny" is to me and you.

Having our sights diverted from Jesus whenever something shiny comes along is not a good thing. I find it too often when trying to pray. My mind starts to multi-task, which I am prone to do, and my mind wanders away from my conversation with the Living God. Making God a priority in my heard AND mind is the most important lesson of all for each of us.

I also liked the example of being "stiff-necked" described in the devotional. How many times are we stiff-necked when it comes to keeping our sights on things that are not really that important? I will try to be more focused on the things that are really important. Are you with me?

Foodie Friday

The recipe this week is from my family. I had my mother show it to me when she visited me a few months ago. I don't think it is written down anywhere, so I hope my sisters and brother appreciate this. If not, I like making it from time to time. Please note this is not supposed to be authentic cuisine. It is just how my family makes this dish. After seeing what The Russian Tea Room charges for Beef Stroganoff, I would rather make it at home!

Beef Stroganoff

1 pound round steak You can use strip steak, etc., I use what I can find on sale!

1 cup all purpose flour

1 small onion, chopped

Few ounces of oil - can be olive oil, canola oil, vegetable oil, whatever

4 ounces of sour cream (or to taste)

Garlic powder (or chopped garlic if you like)

Salt

Pepper

Optional: Mushrooms (I like chopped mushrooms in mine!)

Egg noodles (probably about a 1/2 package or so)

There are two secrets to my mother's recipe -- cut the steak in very thin strips and use the oil-flour-fat from frying the steak to make the basic sauce. Cutting the steak in very thin strips allows you to use a cheaper cut of meat and still have the pieces be very tender.

Start boiling the water for the egg noodles. Add a teaspoon of the oil to the water to prevent the noodles from sticking together.

Cut the steak into very thin strips. This may take you a few minutes. Roll each slice in the flour. Place the strips in the pre-heated oil in a large frying pan on low heat. After the steak cooks, place the chopped onions (and optional mushrooms and minced garlic if you choose) in the frying pan. Cook until the onions and mushrooms are done. Season with the salt, pepper and garlic powder. Stir gently and let the sauce cover all the contents of the frying pan.

If you haven't already, add the noodles to the boiling water and prepare them according to the directions on the package.

Now add the sour cream to the mixture in the frying pan. Stir until the sour cream mixes evenly into the sauce and covers everything. Heat for a few more minutes, then it is ready to serve!

Drain the noodles, then place a nice portion on the center of a plate. Spoon the beef stroganoff sauce, meat, etc. over the noodles.

This recipe, with the 1/2 bag of noodles serves 2 - 4 people depending on the size of the appetites and the other things you might serve with it. I usually serve a salad and some crescent rolls with this dish.

Enjoy!

Other Stuff

I have an MRI of my right kidney scheduled this morning at 10:45. I am not sure when I will receive the results. I am concerned that they may have found something, but also concerned that it might not be what is causing the abdominal/gastric issues I have been experiencing. I will take it one day at a time. That is what I do....

Older AND better!

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OK, let's say it all together -- "I really needed this devotional today". It always amazes me that I think this. I hope you don't get tired of me saying it.

The devotional sums up what I have been writing about the past few weeks -- I want to get better. I want to be a better person. Be a better husband. Be a better friend. Be a better follower of Christ. I need to put the appropriate time and resources into making this happen. I also need to be patient sometimes and wait for God to speak.

"You are not getting older -- you are getting better" is not just some advertising slogan. It should be the journey we are on for a lifetime. We can do it. I believe in you. Make it so...

Technology Thursday

I love writing about this stuff! I am writing about home theater stuff today. What is a home theater? It is the combination of a TV, audio system and video player technology. This can be a combination of several things. I talked about the TV and DVD technologies as two of the possible pieces the past two weeks in an effort to keep things simple.

Once you have the right TV and the right DVD or Bluray player, please consider finishing the home theater setup with the right audio setup! This will give you the best overall experience when watching DVDs or when watching HD (high definition) TV. Yes, you can play HD TV through your home theater as well! Most folks don't realize that HD TV also has HD sound! I may have to talk about that as a separate topic one week. But I digress...

A home theater audio system can take many forms. If you want to keep things simple, you can purchase a home theater system that has the DVD or Bluray integrated into the receiver/amplifier. I recommend that for beginners. Even the simple integrated systems can cost a little (like $200 - $400) or a LOT (the Bose systems can cost thousands!). These systems have the DVD, amplifier and speakers in a set. The most difficult part for you is hooking stuff up and placing your speakers in the best places. Stores like Best Buy have home theater folks that will set this stuff up for you for a price. Consider this if you have no idea what you are doing.

I pieced together my home theater over the years. I use mostly Sony components, though my speakers and subwoofer are different brands. This works for me as I can customize how much I want to spend on different pieces to get the sound I want. I LOVE watching HD TV with the surround sound!

Downsides? Well, having a home theater can mean have LOTS more remotes! I have most of mine consolidated for daily use. I still have to juggle three remotes when I watch a Bluray. I haven't combined all of my stuff into one remote yet. Remotes are a whole 'nother party! Can you I love this stuff!

I hope you find this useful. I plan to enjoy watching and hearing the Buckeyes kick butt this fall in HD and surround sound!

Other stuff

{In case you didn't see this late yesterday afternoon} I got my ct scan results Wednesday afternoon. They found a small "substantive mass" (meaning solid) on my right kidney. They want to do an MRI to determine the exact nature of the mass. The doctors want to make sure that it is not a cancerous tumor or the tip of the iceberg of something growing in my kidney. I am confident things will work out for the best...That is what I do...

Chasing the wind?

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I talked a little about priorities in one of my weekend blogs. The idea of priorities applies not only to our personal relationships, but most importantly with our relationship with God. What kind of priority is God in your life?

There are many examples of fruitless searches: chasing the wind. Chasing your tail. Trying to find something on the Internet via a Google search...but I digress... hehehe The point of today's devotional and scripture is to know what you are chasing. Are you chasing after the best relationship with God that you can have? OR, are you chasing after the wind by pursuing all the things this world has to offer. Don't get me wrong. It is not wrong to have a good career and to make money and to enjoy life. It is wrong if you put all of those things before God.

Figure out what your priorities are. To borrow a phrase from my former employer, "chase what matters".

Wee-way-shun-ship Wednesday

What do I do if I meet someone?

I have no frickin' clue... ;-)

Here is what conventional wisdom says about dating:

*Tell him what he wants to hear

*Don't tell him too much about yourself -- retain your mystery

*Be honest -- but only to a point

*Don't be yourself -- he couldn't possibly like that

*Don't concern yourself with your needs. They are not realy that important.

*It is more important to have a man than it is to be happy.

*It is better to be with someone than to be alone.

Whoa!?! Maybe this is my problem. I am somewhat of a curmudgeon when it comes to conventional wisdom. Is that why I am still single? Here is Duane wisdom (for what it is worth):

*Be yourself -- what you see is what you get. If he is truly worth having, he will accept you and love your for who you are.

*Be honest -- always. Even it is hurts to tell the truth. Be kind. Be gentle, but be honest. This is where the Golden Rule especially applies. Wouldn't you want someone to tell you the truth?

*Be open, but not self-centered -- This goes back to the Be Yourself advice. Talk about yourself. Listen to him speak. It should be give and take when it comes to sharing. If the other person wants to share the whole time, then watch out. If he rarely asks you questions about yourself, watch out.

*You are responsible for your needs. Remember there are needs and wants. Needs are important. Wants are optional. No one person can meet all of your needs. If he doesn't try to meet any or few of your needs, then move on quickly. This will never change.

*Having someone and being happy should go hand in hand. The first rule is to be happy on your own. The second rule is that having a man in your life should augment that happiness, not detract from it. You should both try to make each other happy, but not be obsessed with it. You can't be responsibile for the other person's happiness.

*Being alone is not as bad as being in an undesirable relationship. No relationship is perfect. Being alone is not so bad when you are happy with yourself. Are there times when it sucks to be alone? I think the only time it sucks to be alone is if you are walking onto Noah's Ark. That would suck. ;-)

Lastly, know what is important to you. Forget about the things that are not really important. For me, having my special someone accept me for who I am is the most important thing. This quote by Marilyn Monroe sums it all up for me:

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

Other stuff
I got my ct scan results this afternoon. They found a small "substantive mass" (meaning solid) on my right kidney. They want to do an MRI to determine the exact nature of the mass. The doctors want to make sure that it is not a cancerous tumor or the tip of the iceberg of something growing in my kidney. I am confident things will work out for the best...That is what I do...

Are we really content?

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I know you probably get tired of reading this statement, BUT... the devotional was just what I needed to get the through this day. There were three points from the devotional and the scripture that I really appreciated today.

Philippians 4:4 -- "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" I have always loved the little chorus based on this scripture. It can be sung in so many ways, even as a round! I use it as a walking song to pep me up or as a soft prayer at times. I like it when the writer repeats "I will say it again -- Rejoice!" Very cool.

Philippians 4:8 -- "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." For someone like me that can get caught up in thinking about "scencarios", this passage has a special meaning. Think on THESE things and not the mindless, potentially harmful and upsetting scenarios that can sometimes swirl in my head.

Philippians 4:13 -- "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." The King James translation means a little more to me "I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me". I have written a lot in this blog about letting go and letting God. Yes, I can do a lot of things. With Christ, I can do all things that he puts in my life utilizing his strength. It is a turbocharged life. It is NO ORDINARY LIFE...

iTunes Tuesday

I feel so gay after my iTunes purchase this week. I bought Lady GaGa's album The Fame. At least I didn't buy all the dance mixes that were created after the album was released (only the Just Dance - RedOne Remix). I had heard several of the songs before and didn't realize who sang them. I will listen some more as I have time. My guilty pleasure is the sone "I like it rough". The best line is "I'm shiny and I know it..." What a hoot!

Here are the movies that are coming out on DVD and/or Bluray today:

The Back-up Plan (I heard this was cute)

City Island (no idea)

George A. Romero's Survival of the Dead (this should be good)

The Square

$5 a Day

Time Bandits (Blu-ray)

Shogun Assassin (Blu-ray)

Ninjas vs. Zombies

Check them out! Or maybe wait until next week...

Other Stuff

I had my CT scan yesterday. I should get the results in the next day or two. I will let you know what I find out. I will be patient. I will be faithful. I will trust. That is what I do...

Also, I got a "Dear John" letter from the guy I went out with twice the past few months. I thought it was nice that he sent a hand-written letter to someone he only went out with twice -- and a little odd. If it would have been me, I probably just wouldn't have called the guy again. I wasn't planning on calling this guy again because I didn't think he would ever make time for me in his life. That is his option and perogative. It is his loss.

Am I bothered by this? Was I expecting too much from him? I believe I wrote in my blog on Friday "I don't have anyone special in my life right now. I am fine with that." I wasn't counting on him or anyone else to make my birthday special. Living and breathing for another day is special enough for me.

Was it because I told him about a fantasy I had about us? Fantasy is only that. I live in reality. The reality was that I promised to take things slow and accepted the fact that we would not spend time together often while we were getting to know each other. I admit I have an unusual habit the first time I go out with a guy -- I try to imagine what our relationship might develop into like a friendship, or a friend with benefits or maybe, just maybe, a marriage and long-term relationship. My feeling is that if I can't even IMAGINE that happening with the guy, then there isn't much of a chance of it happening in reality. It is my way of determining if I am talking to diamond in the rough or something else. I hope that isn't too weird.

My reality is this -- I wasn't hunting for a relationship when I met this guy. I am still not hunting for a relationship. "Hunter Duane" is gone. "Patient Duane" is waiting for God to lead.

Starting young -- Or never too old?

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I admire folks that raise children, whether they are straight or gay. I really don't know what kind of father I would have been if God had made me heterosexual. I guess we will never know. While this devotional didn't seem to speak to me in the "start your children young" sense it was intended, it did speak to me in a different way. "You are never too old"!

You are never too old to turn your life over to God. You are never too old to make prayer and Bible study a crucial part of your life. You are never too old to pursue God's will for your life.

I hear something in the gay community more than I care to hear: "I used to go to church when I was a child, but didn't feel welcome at church after I came out." I completely understand that statement. God is still calling you to have a personal relationship. God will lead you to a place where you can feel welcome.

You are always welcome in God's loving arms...

Movie Monday

I saw two movies this weekend, both on Friday night to celebrate my birthday. If you haven't figured it out yet, watching movies is one of my favorite things. It is not my favorite thing to do on a date unless we are cuddled up on the couch at home. ;-)

The first movie was Nannie McPhee Returns. How cute! Seeing her work her magic, especially with the piglets was very cool! You will laugh, you will cry. It is very sweet and very touching. You should also know that it gets a little dark at times, which surprised me. I didn't think it was inappropriate. I wasn't expecting it. I give the movie 3 paws! This one would be OK on your home TV, but there are a few scenes that would be cooler at the theater.

The other movie was Vampires Suck. Yes, I know. This kind of movie usually sucks worse than vampires! hehehe Vamipres Suck was a parody on the Twilight movies with some digs at modern culture icons thrown in for good measure. It was very funny and not overly stupid. The young lady playing the lead had all of Bella's gestures DOWN! That was very funny! There were some very silly parts as well. This kind of humor is a refreshing break for me. I have a tendency to think too much about serious things... I give this movie 2 paws. You can wait til this one comes out on video. There is nothing in it that has to be seen on a big screen.

Other Stuff

I heard some feedback about my blog the past few days. One of my goals is to
"let you in" my life so you will know that it is OK to have struggles. It is OK to be yourself. It is OK to have doubts at times. I want you to know I believe in you. I believe in the Almighty God to work in each and every person's life who seeks God. Hang in there! I know I will -- with God's help and with your help.

Please say a little prayer for me today as I have my CT scan. I wonder if my belly will glow in the dark tonight? ;-)

Can't just check them off...

ODB.org

The scripture in the devotional today is what spoke to me. I believe in the word of God, though I fear some Christians almost idolize the Bible. I don't think that is good. If you think about it, it is like holding up the Cliff Notes to a time honored classic as the real thing! The rest of this rant is for a different day. Here is what I wanted to say about the scripture passage today. Look at 2 Peter 1:5-7:

5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge;

6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness;

7 and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.

So as a planning and project management kind of guy, I must resist the temptation to define the scope of each of these areas. Why? So I can establish measurable criteria for when I accomplish each one, of course! DOH! This is where "letting go, and letting God" hits me square in the forehead. These things are not like merit badges you can sew on a cool vest when you earn them. They are things to incorporate into your life as soon as you are ready. Yes, it is difficult. No, it is not impossible. Yes, God will always be with you during the journey. No, you do not have to do it alone!

My words of encouragement for us today are: Stay the course! God will lead and guide you if you listen and trust. You can do it. God believes in you. And... so do I. ;-)

My Sunday Friend

I nicknamed the friend of the week - the mentor. The mentor is a little older than me (well, maybe not just a little...). We met about six years ago, but didn't become close friends until about three years ago, just after my breakup. We have become part of each other's core group of friends -- you know the friends that you call when something goes right or something goes wrong or just call for the heck of it. We talked and texted a few times today after we both had an interesting week.

So why do I call him the mentor? We had (and still have) very different life experiences. Our paths still crossed despite those different experiences. We found that we have some things in common, like our love for music, friends and God. While his advice about life isn't always what I need or want to hear, it is always well thought out and well intended from his vast experience of relationships. We agree to disagree on some things, which is also fine.

He has also "been there" for me when I needed friends to support me the past few years. He usually takes the time to listen if I need to talk or vent. I usually listen to him as well. The caring and support means so much to me.

We sometimes have difficulty understanding each other because of the experiences we had. That is what makes the friendship even more special -- we care enough to figure stuff out about each other. Thank you, my mentor. You mean so much to me.

Other Stuff

I thought I slacked off on Saturday, but I guess I was busier than what I thought. I slept in, which is unusual for me. Talked to a few friends. Went to Costco (I LOVE that place) and Giant Eagle. Warmed up some homemade pasta sauce for dinner (Wonderful!). I took two naps because I had to work Saturday night. I had to work A LOT Saturday night. That is OK. That is "make up" time for the hours I will miss work on Monday due to my CT scan.

In the midst of all of that, God spoke to me. I honestly believe everything will be OK. After the sensations and low-grade fever I had today, it was not easy to arrive at this belief. Repeating the theme of my Simply Saturday section yesterday -- I will believe. I will trust. I will have faith. I will have a quiet, confident joy in what God will do in my life. That is what I do...

Right on time...

ODB.org

Once again the devotional is exactly what I needed to hear this morning! I think that is such a miracle! I had thoughts of what I was going to write about in the Simply Saturday section that expanded on the thoughts in the devotional.

Do you remember when you were a child? A friend or family member or parent would make you a promise. It if was a friend, you might "pinky promise". I hadn't heard that term in quite a while. I was reminded of it last weekend. I pinky promise is when you hook pinky fingers with the friend to signify the promise is the real deal.

The devotional reminded me that we don't require a pinky promise with God for him to keep His promises! If the elderly Abraham and Sarah can have faith in God's promise to provide a son, then I can have faith that God will keep His promise to send a special man into my life. I would prefer that to happen before I am 100, but that is another pinky promise! hehehe

What has God promised you? What have you promised God?

Simply Saturday -- That is what I do...

Like I said, this section was going to talk about something very similar to the promise devotional, but with a little twist. What should my expectations be when I feel someone promised me something? Are my expectations unrealistic for myself and for others around me? Here are a couple of examples.

I feel God has promised me a special man in my life. When the heck is that supposed to happen? hehehe Being the type of person who plans stuff, I act like there is a pre-relationship checklist I need to complete before I am ready to meet my someone special. There is a song called Some Day by PureNRG that starts like this:

If it was up to me my life would be a blue print on the table

and every year would have a label

I would know precisely the day that you would come and find me

I'd see your face(the one that I dream of) I just can't wait cause I know

I need to have the faith of Abraham and Sarah that God will keep his promise. I will try not to plan even though -- That is what I do...

Second, what should I expect when someone says "I like you" during a long embrace? Is that a promise of some kind? A fleeting phrase of false feelings followed by infrequent followups? hehehe I LOVE alliteration! hehehe My expectation of someone who says he likes me is that he wants to spend time with me and would make plans to do that as our schedules allow. I don't expect an every day kind of thing with someone new. I feel that once a MONTH is too infrequent! hehehe Am I being unreasonable?

One of the things I learned during my Walk to Emmaus last year is the concept of priorities. I ruffled a few feathers with my thoughts about this topic. As a busy professional, I make time for the things that are a priority to me. That is the bottom line. When I met a new guy recently I told him "You need to make me a priority. I am worth it." hehehe So my feeling is that if someone tells me "I don't have time to spend with you" or 'I have been so0ooooo busy" it translates to me as "you are not a priority to me". This helps me see clearly where the friendship or relationship might go. This discovery does not affect my promise to be friends with the new guy. I just won't make him a priority in my life either -- unless he needs a rock to lean on. That is what I do...

Lastly, this is more personal so stop here if you want, I am dealing with God's promises for my health again. I am very, very thankful for the progress that we made with the healing of my eyes over the past two years. God has given me more strength and courage and resiliency than I ever had before. Hallelujah! I have a new opportunity that I am not as excited about. I had two tests week before last that came back normal. Whew! I am still having some health issues. I am having a CT scan on Monday in hopes of determining what is causing my gastric/abdominal issues. I have mixed feelings. A part of me is very excited about another adventure in trusting God to work in my life. Another part of me is screaming "No mas!" I told my best friend this morning that I don't know if I can handle another long-term illness. He reminded me that I have gotten through everything else with the love and support of my friends and families -- my chosen family at church and my natural family. After thinking and praying, I decided that he is right. I am all the things my friends and family say: handsome, upbeat, lucky, formidable, resilient and best of all -- a child of God in whom He is well pleased. That is what I do...

It's time for letting go....

ODB.org

This devotional hit me like a ton of bricks this morning. Today is my birthday. I nicknamed this coming year "Area 51". Unknown territory ahead! Could be top secret! 51 is starting out sort of weird. I will write more about it as I learn more about what is going on.

So is 51 the year that I finally realize "time to grow up"? Yes and no. There are some areas of my life and personality that I never want to change. There are some parts of my life that I want to desperately change. That is sort of a normal thing. I have grown up a lot the past few years. I pushed myself harder than most people do. The list of good things and not-so-good things over the past three years is extensive. I am working on the list of things to come and "growing up" as much as I can to handle the things that I will encounter. It is time for me finally grow up in some areas of my life, for example, the way I STILL hold back turning over my eating habits over to God. I tuck that part of my life away worse than I do Hoho's on a Saturday night!

A favorite song of mine is "It's time for letting go". I can't remember who sings it. For someone like me who has dogged determination, letting go can be difficult at times (some of my friends will attest to that fact!). It is time for letting go. I can do it...with God's help.

Foodie Friday

The folks who know me will be surprised by this recipe since I don't eat foods that end with "erry", like berries! I found the recipe to share with my dinner group. It was very easy to make, which was one of my criteria, and everyone said it tasted great! It is not a heart-healthy recipe, so be warned. You can make with blackberries or blueberries. Haven't tried it with peaches or other fruits.

EASY BLACKBERRY COBBLER

1/2 c. butter 1 c. all-purpose flour 1 c. sugar 1 tbsp. baking powder 1/8 tsp. salt 2/3 c. milk 1 (16 oz.) pkg. frozen blackberries, thawed Melt butter in a 2 quart casserole. Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, and milk in a small mixing bowl, mix well. Pour mixture over melted butter, do not stir. Spoon blackberries over batter; do not stir. Bake at 350°F. for 45 minutes or until golden brown.

Here is the source URL: http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1737,144189-252200,00.html

Other Stuff

While looking for "It's time for letting go" in iTunes this morning, I found a song I had forgotten about "It's time to start living". If you have learned anything from my blog at all, it is this. "Living" the way you want is up to you. Your choice -- whether it is alone or with someone, fat or skinny, giving things over to God or hoarding Hoho's, ~fill in your story here!~

Going to work today and then will probably go to the movies tonight. I love movies. I have to get material to write about on Monday!

I did turn over a silly tradition of mine to God this year. It is really not important. I have a silly birthday tradition of wanting a birthday card, birthday present, birthday dinner and birthday sex! Everyone knows that birthday sex is second only to make up sex! Like I said, it was a silly tradition. There isn't anyone special in my life right now. That is OK with me. I would rather be alone at the movies on my birthday than live out a silly birthday tradition with someone that is not special to me. Maybe I am growing up a little bit. A little...

Not for the birds, but FROM the birds...

ODB.org

Mozart was inspired by a bird's chirping for one of his masterpieces? That man was such a genius he probably could have created a symphony from the sound of someone passing gas! Seriously, the devotion today made me rethink something coming up at my church. We have a service the last Sunday of this morning called the Blessing of the Animals. Since I do not have a pet, I don't usually participate in that service. I think I need to expand my thinking to include ALL of nature around me, including the birds at the park where we hold the service. Who knows? I could be inspired by a bird song!

The devotion also uses a psalm for the scripture passage. I need to read through the book of Psalms a few times per year. I always forget how the psalmist has the same ups and downs that I seem to have in life. It is encouraging, refreshing and challenging to read them.

Technology Thursday

Last week I talked about Bluray vs standard DVDs for video. One of the things I mentioned is that you need a nice television to get the full glory of Bluray disks. There are an astounding number of models out there now since some new technologies became feasible the past few years. There are models that are less than 3/4" thick! Wow! Here is a quick summary of TVs and what you should look for.

Ratio

16:9 is the standard screen ratio for widescreen TVs or computer monitors. Look for that ratio. A standard TV is 4:3.

LCD vs Plasma

Plasma TVs were on their way out of the stores two years ago, but they are still hanging around (pun intended!). They are heavier and use more electricity, but have a tradition of having a better picture for fast moving sports and action. Plasma TVs also wash out in bright light. You usually need a somewhat dark room to watch one. There used to be an issue with "burn in" where images could burn in to the screen permanently. That is not as much of an issue now.

LCD TVs have since caught up with plasma TV picture quality with the introduction of 120mhz and 240mhz models. I switched from a plasma to a 120mhz LCD two years ago. I like it a lot. The flat panel is also much lighter than my old plasma. The picture is amazing. I love watching my Bluray movies on it.

There is a new type of TV called an LED or OLED or ANOLED TV that is ridiculously thin. They have a brighter picture than LCDs. I haven't researched these too much yet. I remember the first one that showed up in stores was 24" in size and cost $2400! Yikes! There prices are much lower now.

Screen resolution:

To get the most out of your Bluray player, you need a TV with 1080P resolution. That is currently the best you can get in a TV (at least that is generally available and if you aren't doing medical imaging!). You need to remember the "P" part, because there are a lot of sets that can display 720P and 1080I. "P" stands for progressive scan. "I" stands for interlaced scan. The progressive scan offers a better picture that is more seamless to the eye.

If you know these few things, you can find a nice TV for your Bluray player. I got my Bluray player free with my TV purchase. I noticed a similar deal or two in the local paper on Sunday.

Next week -- complete your home theater experience with a home theater system for surround sound audio. You may also get a Bluray player as part of a home theater sound system!

Other Stuff

I had a fun evening at Club Diversity last night. It was the first time I attended an event with the Prime Timers. Very nice group of guys. I met some friends there and hung out longer than what I planned! I also remembered why I don't go to bars very often. I am not very shy! My apologies for embarrassing a handsome Hispanic man sitting next to me. I hope he is not scarred (or scared) for life from my teasing!

My walking buddy and her husband are having me over for dinner tonight. Always a good time!

Are you in a rut or a routine?

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Those of you that know me know that I am a planner. I don't HAVE to do things a certain way, but I like to have some consistency to be more efficient. I tease folks that I am lazy. I do things in a certain order, like my morning routine, so I don't have to think about it. If I get out of my routine, I can forgot something, like putting on deodorant or something silly like that. The routine frees up my mind to think about more important things like God, friends or problems at work.

That was a long way to my point. I apologize. My point is that sometimes we "just go through the motions" with our relationship with God. We (I) do the right things like be nice to people, go to church, call my mother, etc, without really giving God our (my) full attention. The routine becomes more important than the reason for our life -- God.

Lord, I know I don't take time to smell the roses (you know I am sort of allergic). Help me take time in my daily routine to talk and listen to You.

Wee-way-shun-ship Wednesday

I met someone, now what do I do?

I obviously have no clue! hehehe Seriously, I have been learning a few things the past three years. I am still not very good at the execution of the things I am suggesting below, but here they are any way.

1. Be a friend.

This sounds so obvious it usually gets overlooked. There is a difference between being a friend and wanting to date someone romantically. The latter implies having feelings for someone, maybe before they are appropriate. There is obviously some interest on one or both parties if you are spending time together. Concentrate on getting to know each other -- things like communication style, likes and dislikes, family, history, dreams, etc. before you start developing feelings. You will find that feelings may or may not develop once you learn more about the person.

I decided that I would not say a lot of the "incredibly sweet" things I would usually say when wooing someone because we are just friends. Those comments are not appropriate right now because neither side is ready for them.

2. Don't get emotionally involved prematurely.

It is common for one party to develop feelings before the other one. There are lots of movies about this scenario! This is tough since everyone is different. I have heard stories of "Oh, I knew the first time I saw him we would be together" and the person based his entire friendship with the person with that thought in mind only to find out later that the guy was a louse! Staying objective during the friend stage is important. It helps you figure out things objectively.

There is a guy I have gone out with a few times and exchanged some emails with the past few months. I understand him more than ever, however, it concerns me that we don't spend more time together. Being objective about the situation, I am not sure he will ever make time to be with me. It is a good thing we are friends first. I can see that and act accordingly. There is a part of me that would really enjoy being wrong about this one (meaning he will make time for me eventually).

This point is even more important when getting over relationship issues such as codependency!

3. Know when to fold'em... but still stay friends...

When you are just friends and not really pursuing the romantic side of things from the very beginning, it makes it easier to "fold 'em" when things are working. In my case, there is no great emotional attachment. My only regret is not fulfilling the potential for our friendship or possible relationship. I still want to meet for occasional lunches or see an opera together. Sometimes a person is worth waiting for as long as you do not fall into unhealthy habits, such as the codependency.

Be yourself. Be a friend. If he (or she) can't or won't love or accept you for who you are, what is the point of having a romantic relationship with the person?

Other Stuff

I had a nice evening last night. I changed into comfortable clothes after work, and then went to Cotters for happy hour before Gay Night at the Columbus Clippers game. There is a huge gay softball tournament in town this week. Lots of those folks went to the beautiful park for the game. It was nice hanging out with friends from work, church and chorus at Cotters. It was also nice seeing some more friends at the ball park.

Apparently, the Primetimers are sponsoring a happy hour at Club Diversity tonight. I am meeting some friends there after work. Should be fun.

Such a burden...

ODB.org

The devotional and scripture today seem like a contradiction to the society we live in. Give up everything in this world to gain riches in the next. I have to admit that even as a "planner" (or person who likes to plan ahead) this doesn't necessarily make sense to me either. It makes more sense to me when I think if of it this way: those who think they have more in this world, be it wealth, or great intelligence, or a great sphere of influence, etc, will have a more difficult time entering the kingdom of heaven. Simply put, those who think they have the most to lose in this world are less likely to enter the next with Jesus. That is my story and I am sticking to it! ;-)

For me, I struggle with letting go. Yes, I accepted Jesus into my life at an early age. That was not an "insurance policy" kind of faith. It was (and still is) a commitment to live for God. Giving up all I have so I can surrender completely to God is the goal. That doesn't mean I am going to quit my job (though it is tempting on some days) and sit around in sackcloth. I mean, what kind of fashion statement would that be! Seriously, taking the time to give over your mind, soul, possessions, yes, everything, is the goal each day. It is quite a journey.

iTunes Tuesday

I have to admit that I haven't been "feeling" the iTunes Tuesday theme! I will try this for a few more weeks then reevaluate this idea. Yes, TFU, I am not so OCD that I can't be flexible...

No new music this week on my iPod. Didn't take the time to look. I find that I usually look for old stuff that I don't have instead of exploring new music. Most of the new music is crap in my opinion except for a few guilty pleasures. I mean, should anyone really like Kelly Clarkson's music? Please? I do and I buy it.

There are some new movies available on DVD and iTunes today. If you haven't noticed, movie-to-DVD releases are usually on Tuesdays! It is traditionally a slow day for stores, so the extra business is good for them. Available today are:

The Last Song

Furry Vengeance

Cemetery Junction

Yikes... Talk about a slow week... You should also know that the regular DVD and the Bluray DVD don't always come out on the same day. There are also new Bluray versions of old movies coming out each week as well. I noticed that the Bluray of Nanny McPhee came out this week just in time for the release of the sequel. What a cute movie!

Other Stuff

I had to mow the lawn and trim the landscaping last night. It was a nice night for it. I almost didn't finish it before dark because I got home later than what I planned. Thanks, my walking buddy and your hubby, for having a glass of wine with me. I am glad the computer is working better now. ;-)

I plan to attend the Gay Night at the Columbus Clippers game tonight at Huntington Park. Should be a fun night!

It seems so simple...

ODB.org

It seems so simple: "A new command I give you: Love one another. " John 13:34. My minister told a story yesterday about a golden retriever that joined her group in the park for Bible study! At the end of the story, the owner of the dog said "I have never met nice Christians before..." Wow... We have a new command that is just a few words, but takes a lifetime to learn and execute!

The Holy Spirit has been convicting me of this A LOT over the past few years. God has been refining my mind and heart using what the scripture calls "a refiner's fire" burning away the stuff that doesn't need to be there like selfishness, unloving attitude, and judgmental attitude. Through each thing I experienced the past few years, both good and not so good, God has been removing the "dross". I ask your prayers and your consideration as we all think about loving each other as Christ loved us.

Movie Monday

I saw two movies this weekend -- one while relaxing Friday night and one when I couldn't nap on Sunday afternoon. :-(

I saw The Expendables Friday night. This movie isn't so bad after having a couple of margaritas at happy hour. OK, I have to be honest. It still sort of sucked when it comes to dialog and plot and whatever else a movie is supposed to have to be "good"! It did have some cool action scenes that I enjoyed. Lots of "OH, we are men, so let's blow stuff up!" action... The plot centered around this group of elite soldiers performing an impossible mission. You will have to see it or rent it to see if they succeeded! The movie centered around Stallone and Statham. There was a little action from the other guys, but not as much. Bruce Willis was almost non-existent in the movie. Oh well. I give this movie 1 paw, mainly because I thought the action scenes were sort of cool.

The other movie was "The kids are fine". I noticed this movie in the listings, but wasn't aware of the plot until some friends from church told me about it. It is about a lesbian couple that have two children from an anonymous sperm donor. When the kids reached a certain age, they got curious about their biological father. Lots of things happen after they start their relationship with him. Mark G. was the biological father. Grrrrr! It was very nice seeing him with his shirt off! Sorry, I digress... I liked the movie because it showed how this non-traditional family reacted to the stresses of family crises. It was sort of long, or just seemed that way. I give it two paws for the acting and seeing Mark G. without his shirt...

Other Stuff

The mens trio I sang in yesterday morning went very well in my opinion. I felt God used the hymn "It is well with my soul" to speak to some folks. That is the most important thing. I am glad I sang half-way decent. That is a good thing since singingin church is important to me. ;-)

I wanted to take a nap Sunday afternoon, but could NOT sleep. I went to a movie instead (see above). I have a busy week planned. I will see where it takes me! Friday is a special day. Not sure what that day will bring either!

We are the Pi-rates, mighty, mighty Pi-rates...

ODB.org

No, I didn't watch a pirate movie over the weekend, though I do like pirate movies (and gladiator movies, and, whooops, I digress). In high school, our cheerleaders had a cheer like the title of today's blog. "Everywhere we go-o, people want to know-o, who we are-r, so we tell them" and they would tell them!

This is a silly segway to the devotional today entitled "Mightier than all". Regardless of how "mighty" our football team or school mascot may be, our God is mightier than all. The scripture talks about our God being "Mightier than the thunder of the great waters, mightier than the breakers of the sea— " Wow! Did you see pictures from the damage from Hurricane Katrina? Did you see the pictures of the damage from the recent flooding in China? What power water and storms have! Our God is even mightier. He reigns over all. The best part is that He cares for each of us and wants a personal relationship with us! Now that is mighty! "Our God is might-y, very, very might-y, Everywhere we go-o, people want to know-o, who HE is... So we tell them!"

Friend Sunday

My nickname for this week's friend is "The Father Unit". I started to just call him "Father Unit", but the abbreviation didn't seem quite right (think about that one...). Have you ever had a friend that you knew you would always be friends with regardless of how often you kept in touch? TFU and I were friends in college almost 30 years ago. We were roommates one semester before he left school. We were very close back then, but lost touch. Almost two years ago, we got reacquainted on Facebook (that was long before I deleted my Facebook and other online accounts). As we got reacquainted, we discovered that our lives had taken very similar roads. We were both musicians in college, but turned out to be computer guys. We were both diabetic now. We both had a lot more rings around the middle (a nice way of saying we are old and fat). We both remembered and appreciated how close we were in college.

After emailing back and forth for a few months and learning more about each other, I asked if I could visit him and his family. Yes, his family. TFU is straight, married and has two neat children. My goal was to meet the woman who finally tamed him! ;-) TFU was (and still is) quite handsome. The college girls would stop talking in mid-sentence when he would walk through the cafeteria. Noooooo, that is not why I roomed with him or wanted to be his friend again after all of these years.

The reason we are friends is that we care about each other and we can talk about stuff. My favorite part is when he cares enough to give me advice about my gay dating issues or concerns! He is very understanding and patient with my ramblings. It is very cool that we both have Dilbert kinds of jobs and can relate there as well.

I nicknamed him TFU because I admire him as a parent. I think any kid would be fortunate to have him as a father (or his wife as a mother). His children are very important to him. He is involved in their lives as much as a father should be. I am very proud of him for making and taking this path in life. He deserves all the happiness in the world. I consider myself very fortunate to call him "friend".

Other Stuff

Had a nice visit with my family yesterday . I installed a faster processor and upgraded my aunt's computer to Windows 7. That took longer than what I wanted, but it seems to work great. My two year upgrade plan for her is now complete! ;-)

I then stopped by Wooster to visit my mother. Her birthday is coming up, so we bought her the new recliner she wanted. She loved the pattern of the material. I joked with my sister that our youngest sister would have to inherit this recliner because neither of us liked it! hehehe Sorry, Sissy! We also had a nice birthday dinner at Applebees. We both like that place a lot.

After I got home, I wasn't feeling well. I took one of the new pills the doctor gave me for my stomach and laid down for a little while. Whoa. I had a hard time waking up! I woke up long enough to call into work and have my coworker take over my task for the evening, and then went back to bed. I slept comfortably through the night. I feel much better this morning. I have to feel better. I am singing at big boy church this morning!

It is definitely a mystery...

ODB.org

As the devotion today states, we have "One Mysterious God", don't we? Most folks consider me a pretty smart guy. I have NO CLUE what is going on with God most of the time! I don't really like that, but God has taught me to trust and have faith. God, please help me have more trust and more faith! Please help us all!

I will give an example of how the mysteries work out if I just pay attention. God has been leading me in a specific way with some of my personal behavior for quite a while (years actually). I disobeyed. I didn't understand His ways. I didn't trust or have faith in God to meet my needs if I didn't take care of them myself. As I started obeying and trusting and having faith, I found I have been happier in the long run. Things in my life started fitting together more than I thought possible.

Even if life had a manual to guide me, I am a guy and I probably wouldn't read it! With God, we can't necessarily RTFM. What we can do is develop a personal relationship with Him. Trust. Have faith. It all sounds so simple.... NOT!

Simply Saturday

I had an unusual experience yesterday. I volunteered to represent the GLBT group at my company's monthly diversity meeting. The theme this month is helping each other understand different faiths better so we can honor the diversity in the workplace. My favorite part was when the representative from the Jewish group looked at me and asked "Oh, you must be the Catholic guy?". I said "Not exactly". hehehe I am proud to say that I was welcomed. I was heard. A summary of my short speech is as follows: "You may ask why I am speaking here today at an Interfaith panel discussion? I am speaking for two reasons. First, topics regarding the Gay and Lesbian community can be flash points amongst people of faith. We cannot have that in the work place. Our company honors diversity and requires that we respect each other here so we can accomplish the goals of the company. Second, I can think of no better place than a body of people of faith to ask for the prayers, regardless of your realm of belief, for the Gay and Lesbian folks in the world. While there are many that have found faith, there are many more who have not. Many feel they are not welcome in any religion or body of faith. Please remember them in your prayers." I was very, very proud to be there. I hope God was pleased as well.

Other Stuff

I had a great time hanging out at Easton last night. Had some very good happy hour margaritas with a buddy at Abuelos, did a little window shopping and saw the movie The Expendables. I will write about that on Movie Monday!

Speed limits are for chumps....

ODB.org

Speed limits are for chumps... Aren't they "guidelines' and not really limits or laws? Are they like my credit cards where I can get my limit raised with a simple request? hehehe "Freedom" talks about being free in Christ through obeying the laws of man, like the speed limit or paying taxes, AND freedom through obeying God by loving others. Sounds like quite a combination, doesn't it?

The author's wife relished the fact that she didn't need a radar detector when she drove the speed limit. She didn't need to slow down when she saw a highway patrolman. I wonder if we could invent a "you are not loving like God wants you to" detector? It would warn you to beware when you aren't being patient or looking out for other folks (like when the person in front of you on the highway is driving the speed limit!). I wouldn't have to change my behavior when I see one of my ministers behind me in line at the grocery or when they see me "sharking" for a parking place at the mall during the Christmas rush. I wouldn't act differently when I wear my church tshirt compared when I don't wear my church tshirt (because you always have to be nicer when wearing the church tshirt!).

Freedom is not doing what you want. Freedom is doing what you should and enjoying it!

Foodie Friday

Here is my version of the dark chocolate cake I made for my dinner group last month. MmmMMmmm... I used a different recipe for the frosting than what I found with the cake site. The frosting was so rich, I only frosted in between the layers and the top of the cake. I did not frost the sides.

CAKE: For the cake I used a chocolate fudge cake mix. I added 1 tsp of almond extract to the batter along with the vanilla.

Ingredients:

1 box devil’s food cake mix

1 small box Jello instant chocolate pudding mix (not the sugar or fat free kind!)

1 cup sour cream

1 cup vegetable oil

4 eggs, beaten

1/2 cup milk

1 tsp pure vanilla extract

2 cups mini semisweet chocolate chips

1 tsp almond extract (if desired)

All you do is dump everything except the chocolate chips into a very large bowl– A 4 qt bowl is good, but one of those 8 cup mixing bowls is too small! — then mix well with a beater. The batter will be thick! Then take your 2 cups of chocolate chips– you can use regular size chips or mini chips. Bake in two 9 in pans. Add about 8 - 10 minutes to the cake mix baking time. Check doneness using a toothpick.

Here is the URL for the recipe: http://www.kevinandamanda.com/recipes/dessert/the-best-chocolate-cake.html

FROSTING: My cake had two batches of frosting, so double this recipe if you liked that amount. I followed the recipe and added one tsp of almond extract per batch. When I make it again, I will probably use 1/2 tsp per batch. You can use whatever amount you like or leave it out. For the cocoa, I used Hershey's Special Dark Cocoa available at most grocery stores.

BASIC BUTTERCREAM FROSTING

INGREDIENTS

* 2 3/4 cups confectioners' sugar

* 6 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder

* 6 tablespoons butter

* 5 tablespoons evaporated milk

* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

* 1/2 teaspoon almond extract (if desired)

DIRECTIONS

1. In a medium bowl, sift together the confectioners' sugar and cocoa,

and set aside.

2. In a large bowl, cream butter until smooth, then gradually beat in

sugar mixture alternately with evaporated milk. Blend in vanilla.

Beat until light and fluffy. If necessary, adjust consistency with more milk or sugar.

Other Stuff

Busy weekend planned. Relaxing tonight. Visiting family on Saturday. Working Saturday night. Singing at church on Sunday morning. Looking forward to relaxing and reading on Sunday afternoon/evening. I may sneak off to the movies sometime to see The Expendables. I got a little confused at first. I thought the movie was about my pants (The ExPANDables...). Oh well. I am such a silly bear sometimes.

To church or not to church?

ODB.org

The devotional for today is a good summary of why we need to worship God with a group of believers instead of just on our own. I think we all know folks that say "I don't need to go to church. I can worship God on my own". I believe we can all worship God on our own, but that is not the only way we should worship. Our group worship doesn't have to be in a fancy (or some would say "stuffy") church service. It could be in a small group at someone's home or at a park. Shared belief spurs deeper belief.

The devotional also spoke to me about love. I am in a transition period where I am trying to love people better. Not just my friends and family, but everyone. This is not easy to do as I learned last night when someone cut me off while driving home!

This "love thing" can also be confusing when trying to date. I want to love a new friend with the agape love of God and show that love, but how do I make sure I am not showing something else, like romantic love, during the time we spend together if that is not appropriate? It can also be confusing when I am apart from a guy I want to date. What are my real feelings? It can be tricky differentiating when the agape love ends and the romantic love starts. My experience is when expectations and sex come into the picture, I crossed the line. I will have to think and pray about that more.

Technology Thursday

This week I want to talk about DVD vs Bluray DVD (the ones with the blue case with the Bluray logo on them). So what is the difference between DVD and Bluray DVD? Most folks today have at least a normal DVD player and have experienced how much better the picture and sound are than a VCR. Pretty amazing, right? Imagine taking that much further when you switch to Bluray DVD. It became the standard for high definition video disks about two years ago. There was a competing standard out there. Bluray is a better technology for the masses and vastly superior in many ways. The best part is that you can play your regular DVDs on a Bluray player! May Bluray players will "upconvert" your old DVDs to better picture quality as well.

You should know that to experience the full glory of Bluray DVD you need a great TV that is capable of displaying what is known as "1080P" resolution. That is currently the highest resolution offered in TV sets. There are a lot of other factors, which can be very confusing. I will talk about TVs next week. ;-)

So what is so different? The picture quality and sound quality are as good or better as what you would see in a theater if you have the right equipment. Even if you don't have a large TV and a home theater sound system, you can still get better sound and picture from a Bluray player.

I don't buy all of my movies on the Bluray format. I usually buy action movies or scifi movies on Bluray. They are still more expensive than regular DVDs, however, the prices are coming down. I found some older movies on Bluray that I didn't already own on regular DVD for $8 recently. 2001: A Space Odyssey is very cool on Bluray! A friend told me about gently used Bluray disks at a Blockbuster Video Store closeout.

Lastly, the Bluray players are coming down in price as well. Like other new technologies, the players were very expensive at first. I got mine free when I bought my 1080P TV year before last. Woohooooo! You will need what is called an HDMI cable to connect the Bluray DVD to your flat screen TV. Compare prices on those. They can be expensive!

Check out Bluray DVD sometime. Call me. We can watch a Bluray movie! ;-)

Other Stuff

I am happy to report that my tests from the past two days came back normal. I am very thankful. I will pursue additional tests with the doctors since I still have digestive issues that are very uncomfortable. I can rule out two possible causes now. I will see what happens next.

I plan to visit family this weekend. I always look forward to that. My mother's birthday is coming up. I need to purchase her present.

Copies, not clones...

ODB.org

I was the oldest child of four. I had the same issue that the older brother had in today's devotional. I got copied a lot! I also found myself copying others that I admired from church and school. It is human nature.

Something that is not human nature is to copy the life of Jesus Christ. Making our nature more like His is a life-long goal. My main point today is that we are to be copies, not clones. Though some would say there is little difference between the two words, let me share my opinion. To me, clones implies something like the Start Wars movies concept of clones. Mindless beings with a single purpose that are easily controlled. I can't imagine that God would make a world full of so many different kinds of people only to have us be clones!

When someone copies another's behavior, I feel they incorporate their behavior into their own personality and being. Isn't that what Christ wants from us? To use the gifts we were given, only supercharged by His love and His Spirit? Supercharged... I like the thought of that.

We-way-shun-ship Wednesday

Alright, I finally took a few minutes to find a decent clip of the wedding scene from The Princess Bride. There are a few other little story lines going on during the wedding, so focus on the minster.

So now that you followed the do's and don'ts from last week and you have given yourself some time to grieve the loss of your relationship, what next? I want to be clear -- the advice I offered last week is not what I did after my breakup. Don't be hard on yourself if you make mistakes, and you probably will. Pick yourself up, and move on. Now.

Where do I meet people? I get asked this questions a lot since I don't seem to have too much trouble meeting guys. I joke with me best friend that the difference between us is that he meets 10 guys and maybe meets 1 nice guy. I meet a 100 guys and maybe meet 10 nice guys! I don't think its like a volume discount, so your results may vary!

Instead of rushing around trying to meet guys, turn over this process to God. What? What does God know about meeting guys? hehehe This was a shocking revelation to me as well! I am not saying to sit and home waiting for Prince Charming to arrive in a white Escalade! I mean don't "hunt" so hard that you can't be sensitive to the things around you. Find what is best for you.

For me, I gave up the online accounts. Even though I met a few nice guys, I was not meeting them consistently. There was too much temptation for meaningless relationships (translation: hookups). The relationships I did have were not "real". Online people can be whoever they want, just like we don't always portray ourselves honestly.

So where do you meet folks if not online? Try frequenting the places where you do the things you like to do! Photography club, the gym, flower club, shopping (yes, an acquaintance met his new partner at Nordy's!), the movies, wherever. I met a nice guy at a friend's cookout. Be open. Be yourself.

You might notice that I didn't say meet people "at church". I am not sure about that one. One of my minsters says "don't date within the flock". I understand why. What is the first thing that happens during an unpleasant breakup? One or both of you would probably leave the church. That is not good. If you try to meet guys at church, then be careful. Agree that church is a neutral ground regardless of what happens to the relationship.

What do I do if I meet someone? I will talk about that next week!

Other Stuff

I am very hungry since I haven't eaten solid food in over 24 hours now in preparation for my colonoscopy this morning. I plan to eat brunch/lunch at Bob Evans after it is over! Many thanks to my buddy for taking me this morning.

Remember summers when you were a kid?

ODB.org

Remember summers as a kid? They seemed to last FOREVER! ;-) We were so excited to be out of school. After a few weeks, it seemed like school would never start again so we could see our friends!

I don't always enjoy the kind of devotionals like the one today. As a Christian, I am obviously looking forward to life after death. Who wouldn't look forward to heaven? DOH! I have learned over the years that whole point of life is not looking forward to heaven, no matter what trials or tribulations or blessings we encounter on earth. It is the JOURNEY that is important. If we live our lives only to look forward to heaven or only to be comforted by that thought, then how much do we miss?

I read a USA Today article on my iPad yesterday talking about religion. Give it a quick read here. I do not totally agree with the author's theology, but I totally agree with the observation that we need God in our lives to help make us better people, to treat other people better. The ultimate goal is to live better now, not necessarily to live better after death. Think about that.

From the musical Avenue Q song "For Now":

Don't stress,

Relax,

Let life roll off your backs

Except for death and paying taxes,

Everything in life is only for now!

iTunes Tuesday

I didn't do much in iTunes this week. I finally figured out that the Pages app for my iPad will not READ PDF files. It will only GENERATE PDF files. DOH! If found a 99 cent app called PDF Reader Pro that works on both my iPhone and iPad. It is more practical on my iPad because of the larger screen. I synched a bunch of the PDF files I am studying for my certification test. It works for me! It is better than sitting in front of my computer screen for hours!

Here are some movies that are coming out of DVD (or available on iTunes today):

Date Night (very sweet movie)

Death at a Funeral (never saw it)

Children of Invention (don't know anything about this one)

Letters to God (Heard this was great)

Other Stuff

Heading to the hospital to have a gastric emptying test done this morning. As I understand it, the stomach of a diabetic can get "lazy" and not move food through to the intestines effectively. That causes all kinds of fun and hijinx in the body (never mind the details!). I hope to find out what is going on and what the next steps are to help me feel more comfortable. I have a colonoscopy scheduled for Wednesday, so today and this evening will be a ton of fun! As always...I remain positive!

Not my strong suit...

ODB.org

The Life that Matters is the topic of the devotional today. We only have one life. Isn't that the one that matters? Yes and no. We have choices about how we live our one, not-so-ordinary life. The devotional talks about walking humbly with God. I liked this sentence on the plaque: Reader think not to live so long, but seek to live as well.

Wow! So many times we only think -- How can I make it through this day, week or year? Do we really think about "living well"? What does that mean? Many folks think that means having lots of money and lots of power and lots of everything. In I Peter 5:1-7, living well is described for a Christian. Work not only for the things of this world that will fade away. Work for the things that will last eternally.

Movie Monday

I was not tempted to see any movies this weekend. If I had gone to the movies, I would have chosen between The Other Guys and Dogs and Cats 2: The revenge of Kitty Galore. Oh, Heck no! First, I am not a Will Farrell fan. My favorite role is the short stint as the German in The Producers. It was short (thank goodness) and he was acting crazy (which I can only take in small doses). Oh well.

I can tell you about a movie I saw a few weeks ago that is still in theaters -- Despicable Me. It is a cartoon appropriate for the kids or adults. I loved the writing of the movie. The characters were interesting and fun. There was some humor that only the adults would understand. There was some humor that only the kids would understand! In short, a despicable villain adopts three young girls so he can use them to infiltrate the home of his arch enemy. The girls melt his heart so he is not as despicable any more. The whole process is adorable. You will laugh a lot and probably cry a little too. You may have seen the minions from the movie on the IHOP commercials. They are adorable as well. My favorite saying from the movie comes when Gru has an idea. He gets a silly look on his face and says "Light bulb!" hehehe

I give the movie 3 bear paws.

Other Stuff

I hoped to have a few weeks without doctor appointments, but nooooooo...... I got over my ear infection last week. I am very thankful. I have some tests scheduled for Tuesday and Wednesday to determine what might be going on in my abdominal area. I have complained about the symptoms for years, but the doctors couldn't find anything wrong. They now think there is probably some diabetes-related problems that I need to address. I will let you know the results. You know what I say... I remain positive!

Ewwww! Bugs!

ODB.org

I find stories like the plagues of Egypt, the testing of Job, the calling of Moses, some of the most interesting writings of the Old Testament. Most human beings like to compare their lives to the lives of others as a barometer of how difficult their lives are (like my opinion on reality TV...).

We have a choice of how to react when gnats, sickness, or other trials come our way. The things that happen to us are not always cause and effect based. Nor are they punishments or tests handed down by God. Many times "stuff" just happens. In a recent sermon, my minister used the term "Manure happens". hehehe

So what are our choices? The devotional today talks about NOT hardening your heart when things don't go your way. Use everything that happens in your life, good or bad or in between, to draw you closer to God. After all the things I have been through the past three years, my new favorite word is "resiliency". ;-) When comparing my life to others, and we all compare at times, I have had more than my share of blessings and trials. Resiliency and faith enabled me to move forward. That is my prayer for you.

Friend of the week

My friend of the week is my ex. I met him at a bar in Louisville, Kentucky on a night that neither one of us planned to be out. He was in town for a convention. I was delivering some stuff to the other members of the bear club that were out that night. I was talking to some friends, and saw him from across the room. One friend in particular remembers the look on my face when I saw the ex for the first time. Have you ever seen the movie "Wayne's World"? Remember the scene when Wayne sees his love interest for the first time? Remember the song "Dreamweaver"? BINGO! I saw him talking with some mutual friends. They offered to introduce me after telling me some things about him. Those of you that know me realize I don't need someone to introduce me! I am not a shy person.

After meeting and spending some time together that weekend, we started talking every day. He lived in a small town about an hour or so away from Louisville. The following weekend we both blew off our plans and spent the weekend together. We started saying the "L" word (no, it was not "lesbian") that weekend. I don't consider myself the kind of person that falls in love at first sight. It happened. What can I say?

The ex and I spent 11.5 years together. I learned a lot of stuff during my time with him. Things about myself. Things about cooking, cleaning, decorating, music, the list goes on an on. He is a very talented man in so many ways.

So the question that I still get asked three years after our breakup "What happened? You both seemed so happy." I take the blame for the failure of the relationship. Yes, we could have gone on like we were, but the happiness would have become a facade for what was really going on inside of me. The kind of love we had was intense, but it was not the kind of love to last for a lifetime. I wanted better for me. More importantly, I wanted better for him. It took all of my strength to initiate a cowardly breakup and then stick to the decision.

I wish him well. He deserves all the happiness in the world. The things I miss the most are the red velvet cakes and special times around the holidays with him and his family. Good times...

Other Stuff

I have my dinner group tonight! Yeah! We are meeting at Scooter's house (not her real name, it is a joke) for a cookout.

I am not sure what this week will reveal. I will write more about the stuff going on as it happens. As always, I remain positive and excited about the things that are going on in my life and the lives of my friends and family.

Doesn't the world revolve around me? DOH!

Simply Saturday

This was an up and down week for me. For those of you who think I don't hold anything back in the blog, I am not sure I want to talk about what I am feeling right now. I feel like some things are out of control. I don't know exactly how it happened. Let me try to explain as best I can.

I think the devotional from yesterday expressed it best for me. I have a tendency to treat people, especially at work, like they are a bother to me, like they keep me from getting things done. It doesn't take a genius to read into this and see that things are not going as well as what I want at work. This is so odd to me. I feel like I work hard. Get things done. Apparently getting things done is not the most important thing. Making other feel good along the way is also important. Who knew? I thought we were all at work to move the company forward, not be concerned that the passive-aggressive folks surrounding us are not getting stroked enough. I don't play this game very well, especially with people who have rubbed me the wrong way. Yes, I am hurt and more than a little bitter about what happened. I apologize...

While reading the book "The Power of 2" this week, I learned that I have a "tit for tat" attitude towards collaborating with others. I will deal fairly with you until you don't deal fairly with me, then watch out! I know this isn't the "Christian" attitude to have, however, it is human nature. Like the other areas in my life, I am working on it. One of the biggest challenges for those who follow Christ is to put aside the behavior that is "human nature" to have "God's nature". More to come...

On the bright side, which is where I usually chose to dwell, I was blessed to reconcile with the friend I nicknamed Yang in my posting last Saturday. We will work on slowly rebuilding our friendship. For that I am truly grateful.

Lastly, what is up with my weight? I did really well losing weight the first part of this year losing about 26 pounds. I gained 15 - 20 pounds of that back. I found that I could not maintain the level of exercise that it took for me to lose weight and keep it off. If I were totally honest with myself, I would admit that I didn't maintain the eating discipline that I had for those months either. I wouldn't have to maintain an overly aggressive exercise program if I ate better. Comfort food of hamburgers, chicken nuggets and pizza, with some ice cream thrown in there for good measure has been on my plate more than usual. Not good. For the record, I am keeping my blood sugar under control, though I am taking a lot of insulin sometimes to make that happen. The more insulin I take, the less chance I have of losing or maintaining weight. Is it possible for me to finally surrender my eating habits over to God since I cannot seem to control them on my own? I will think and pray about that. I will keep you updated on my progress.

ODB.org

I changed the order today because I wrote the Simply Saturday section before I read the ODB devotional today. Wow... I realize that ODB is not an intense Bible study or program for in-depth learning, however, it speaks to me in volumes over and over. I will expand the thoughts from the Simply Saturday section to include my thoughts from today's devotional.

My question is: where do we draw the line, or do we draw one at all, for having the attitude expressed in the devotional between work and real life? Most work places are competitive places where the brightest and best (and often the brown nosers!) get ahead. Can we realistically have a selfless attitude in the work environment?

As I once again dwell on the positive, I learned several things about selflessness in my personal life the past few weeks. For maybe the first time in my life, I think I can look a man in the eyes and honestly say (and most importantly execute this statement) "Let's get to know each other. If something else happens along the way, we will take things slow. If not, we will still be great friends". Have you said or heard that saying? Being a little self-unaware at times (DOH!), I finally realized that I honestly said those words, but didn't execute them for a variety of reasons including selfishness, insecurity, and the codependency issues that I talked about in other blog posts. I learned one of the most important lessons of my life through my friendship with Yang -- loving someone with agape love. Do I dare love everyone that way? DOH! YES! I plan to talk about this with a new friend at lunch today. I plan to show him God through our friendship. To be the best kind of friend I can be, regardless of what happens between us romantically.

Who knows, I might even try to show my coworkers and customers God in ALL of my dealings at work. It could happen...