Almost a flaw...

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We had a silly joke in high school about the scripture passage from today's devotional. Jesus delivered his wise saying of "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her". After a few moments of silence, a single stone zipped threw the crowd striking the woman on the forehead. Jesus looked around and said "Awwwwww, Mom!" If you need me to explain that one, let me know. hehehe

I have trouble many times with being slow to speak. I am usually an outgoing, witty, engaged kind of person. I think fast and too often speak too quickly. The results can be fun or tragic, depending on who I am around!

The line in the devotional that hit me like a ton of bricks was this one: "Listen to God before you speak for God." DOH! Listen TO God before you speak FOR God. I remember trying a trick when I was child where I would tell my brother "Oh, Mom said you had to do this" without really listening to what my Mom said (if she said it at all). We can't play those kinds of games with God. The results are usually not fun, just tragic, when we try to push our own agenda in the name of God.

Lord, help me to listen before speaking and speak only after having been spoken to.

Simply Saturday Almost a flaw

So the first week after my 51st birthday has been a wacky one. Work was busier than I wanted. I had some medical tests. I was able to schedule the MRI on Friday morning. I should get the results back in the next few days.

I decided this week that regardless of how I feel, I need to be more disciplined about my eating. I go back and forth, up and down, whatever, with my eating habits. I have been walking for my exercise. I probably need to exercise a little more as well. I have some exercise restrictions due to my eye issues, so I won't be pumping iron at the gym any time soon.

I have a big vacation to San Francisco coming up soon. I am looking forward to that. My best friend and I are great travel buddies. We should have a wonderful time.

I also have a weekend trip to Cincinnati planned the last weekend in September. I plan to visit the RenFest in Wilmington and see South Pacific in Cincy. I booked a night at the downtown Westin to relax after the show. I am not sure if I will ask someone to go with me (just to the show, not the hotel room) or sell my extra ticket. I will figure that out in the next few weeks.

What is the "almost a flaw" title of today's entry about? I still try to be friends with guys that want to stop seeing me for whatever reason. Even though the dear john letter on Monday was odd to me, I promised the guy that I would be his friend regardless of what happened between us. I need to get it through my head that it takes two people to be friends. I have a tendency to stress out too much about the other person not participating. I appreciate the opportunity for growth from this friendship, however short-lived. I will move on.

Lastly, I started some follow up sessions with my therapist the beginning of this month. I hadn't seen him in about six months. We have great talks about the things in my life, especially about how to deal with my feelings. I bottled up my feelings deep inside for most of my life. I think that is why I can be wound a little tight sometimes. The big revelation this week was that just because I have feelings and recognize them, that I don't have to act on them. That is difficult for me since I am a "doer". My course of action til now is to act on the feelings that I have. I didn't realize until this week that course of action can be selfish. Dumping your feelings and running (or staying) can hurt more than get things out in the open. There is someone that I have strong feelings for, but I can never discuss it with him. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he doesn't feel the same way about me. I will acknowledge my feelings as valid and keep them to myself. I am very happy to have this man in my life. I don't want to jeopardize that friendship.

Going to a cookout tonight with my walking buddy. We are supposed to have nice weather again today. I had a great evening in the Short North last night. Good times!