Doesn't the world revolve around me? DOH!

Simply Saturday

This was an up and down week for me. For those of you who think I don't hold anything back in the blog, I am not sure I want to talk about what I am feeling right now. I feel like some things are out of control. I don't know exactly how it happened. Let me try to explain as best I can.

I think the devotional from yesterday expressed it best for me. I have a tendency to treat people, especially at work, like they are a bother to me, like they keep me from getting things done. It doesn't take a genius to read into this and see that things are not going as well as what I want at work. This is so odd to me. I feel like I work hard. Get things done. Apparently getting things done is not the most important thing. Making other feel good along the way is also important. Who knew? I thought we were all at work to move the company forward, not be concerned that the passive-aggressive folks surrounding us are not getting stroked enough. I don't play this game very well, especially with people who have rubbed me the wrong way. Yes, I am hurt and more than a little bitter about what happened. I apologize...

While reading the book "The Power of 2" this week, I learned that I have a "tit for tat" attitude towards collaborating with others. I will deal fairly with you until you don't deal fairly with me, then watch out! I know this isn't the "Christian" attitude to have, however, it is human nature. Like the other areas in my life, I am working on it. One of the biggest challenges for those who follow Christ is to put aside the behavior that is "human nature" to have "God's nature". More to come...

On the bright side, which is where I usually chose to dwell, I was blessed to reconcile with the friend I nicknamed Yang in my posting last Saturday. We will work on slowly rebuilding our friendship. For that I am truly grateful.

Lastly, what is up with my weight? I did really well losing weight the first part of this year losing about 26 pounds. I gained 15 - 20 pounds of that back. I found that I could not maintain the level of exercise that it took for me to lose weight and keep it off. If I were totally honest with myself, I would admit that I didn't maintain the eating discipline that I had for those months either. I wouldn't have to maintain an overly aggressive exercise program if I ate better. Comfort food of hamburgers, chicken nuggets and pizza, with some ice cream thrown in there for good measure has been on my plate more than usual. Not good. For the record, I am keeping my blood sugar under control, though I am taking a lot of insulin sometimes to make that happen. The more insulin I take, the less chance I have of losing or maintaining weight. Is it possible for me to finally surrender my eating habits over to God since I cannot seem to control them on my own? I will think and pray about that. I will keep you updated on my progress.

ODB.org

I changed the order today because I wrote the Simply Saturday section before I read the ODB devotional today. Wow... I realize that ODB is not an intense Bible study or program for in-depth learning, however, it speaks to me in volumes over and over. I will expand the thoughts from the Simply Saturday section to include my thoughts from today's devotional.

My question is: where do we draw the line, or do we draw one at all, for having the attitude expressed in the devotional between work and real life? Most work places are competitive places where the brightest and best (and often the brown nosers!) get ahead. Can we realistically have a selfless attitude in the work environment?

As I once again dwell on the positive, I learned several things about selflessness in my personal life the past few weeks. For maybe the first time in my life, I think I can look a man in the eyes and honestly say (and most importantly execute this statement) "Let's get to know each other. If something else happens along the way, we will take things slow. If not, we will still be great friends". Have you said or heard that saying? Being a little self-unaware at times (DOH!), I finally realized that I honestly said those words, but didn't execute them for a variety of reasons including selfishness, insecurity, and the codependency issues that I talked about in other blog posts. I learned one of the most important lessons of my life through my friendship with Yang -- loving someone with agape love. Do I dare love everyone that way? DOH! YES! I plan to talk about this with a new friend at lunch today. I plan to show him God through our friendship. To be the best kind of friend I can be, regardless of what happens between us romantically.

Who knows, I might even try to show my coworkers and customers God in ALL of my dealings at work. It could happen...