Those of you that know me know that I am a planner. I don't HAVE to do things a certain way, but I like to have some consistency to be more efficient. I tease folks that I am lazy. I do things in a certain order, like my morning routine, so I don't have to think about it. If I get out of my routine, I can forgot something, like putting on deodorant or something silly like that. The routine frees up my mind to think about more important things like God, friends or problems at work.
That was a long way to my point. I apologize. My point is that sometimes we "just go through the motions" with our relationship with God. We (I) do the right things like be nice to people, go to church, call my mother, etc, without really giving God our (my) full attention. The routine becomes more important than the reason for our life -- God.
Lord, I know I don't take time to smell the roses (you know I am sort of allergic). Help me take time in my daily routine to talk and listen to You.
Wee-way-shun-ship Wednesday
I met someone, now what do I do?
I obviously have no clue! hehehe Seriously, I have been learning a few things the past three years. I am still not very good at the execution of the things I am suggesting below, but here they are any way.
1. Be a friend.
This sounds so obvious it usually gets overlooked. There is a difference between being a friend and wanting to date someone romantically. The latter implies having feelings for someone, maybe before they are appropriate. There is obviously some interest on one or both parties if you are spending time together. Concentrate on getting to know each other -- things like communication style, likes and dislikes, family, history, dreams, etc. before you start developing feelings. You will find that feelings may or may not develop once you learn more about the person.
I decided that I would not say a lot of the "incredibly sweet" things I would usually say when wooing someone because we are just friends. Those comments are not appropriate right now because neither side is ready for them.
2. Don't get emotionally involved prematurely.
It is common for one party to develop feelings before the other one. There are lots of movies about this scenario! This is tough since everyone is different. I have heard stories of "Oh, I knew the first time I saw him we would be together" and the person based his entire friendship with the person with that thought in mind only to find out later that the guy was a louse! Staying objective during the friend stage is important. It helps you figure out things objectively.
There is a guy I have gone out with a few times and exchanged some emails with the past few months. I understand him more than ever, however, it concerns me that we don't spend more time together. Being objective about the situation, I am not sure he will ever make time to be with me. It is a good thing we are friends first. I can see that and act accordingly. There is a part of me that would really enjoy being wrong about this one (meaning he will make time for me eventually).
This point is even more important when getting over relationship issues such as codependency!
3. Know when to fold'em... but still stay friends...
When you are just friends and not really pursuing the romantic side of things from the very beginning, it makes it easier to "fold 'em" when things are working. In my case, there is no great emotional attachment. My only regret is not fulfilling the potential for our friendship or possible relationship. I still want to meet for occasional lunches or see an opera together. Sometimes a person is worth waiting for as long as you do not fall into unhealthy habits, such as the codependency.
Be yourself. Be a friend. If he (or she) can't or won't love or accept you for who you are, what is the point of having a romantic relationship with the person?
Other Stuff
I had a nice evening last night. I changed into comfortable clothes after work, and then went to Cotters for happy hour before Gay Night at the Columbus Clippers game. There is a huge gay softball tournament in town this week. Lots of those folks went to the beautiful park for the game. It was nice hanging out with friends from work, church and chorus at Cotters. It was also nice seeing some more friends at the ball park.
Apparently, the Primetimers are sponsoring a happy hour at Club Diversity tonight. I am meeting some friends there after work. Should be fun.
No comments:
Post a Comment