What does it take?

I am writing this either very late on Friday night or very early on Saturday morning depending on your point of view. I took a short nap after work Friday. I guess that is why I can't sleep tonight. I am also starting to get over my ear infection and have more energy. Here is my blog entry for today, Saturday...

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What does it take for you to believe? For you to have faith in God? Faith in the risen Jesus Christ? We obviously don't have the honor of seeing Christ with our own eyes or putting our finger in his nail-scarred hands. What is it that makes you "believe"?

This is a very, very personal thing. Being a church going kind of guy much of my life, I have heard many takes on this. Everything from "every time I hear a little swallow chirp, I believe in God" to songs and testimonies of modern day "I have just seen Jesus".

For me, there are two reasons. First, God makes sense to me. I realized as a young child that there had to be more to life than what I had seen so far. Nothing against my family or the area where I lived or anything like that. They are all hard-working folks doing the best they can to live and love. God introduced me to the life I knew I could have somehow. A life of being better than I was. A worthy goal to work towards - godliness. I have failed miserable over and over trying to achieve this goal. The trying and the growing are the important things. Hang in there!

Second, I feel like I have conversations with God like I would talk to a trusted friend or respected advisor. Most of the conversations ended with "Yes, sir, I will do better with your help". Some ended with the teenage rant "I hate you! Why are you doing this to me?" (there weren't too many of those...)

At this point in my life, I have faith because I know that God is in my life and is doing great things. I will keep trying. I will hang in there!

Shakespeare in the Park

I attended the Actors Theater of Columbus presentation of Shakespeare in the Park "Much Ado about Nothing" on Friday night. I had some surprises. First, the acting was very good! I wasn't sure what to expect. Second, the environment was very nice -- Schiller Park. I enjoyed it. Third, I should have asked if my group was going to use blankets or chairs. Being my first time to attend, I didn't realize the impact of that decision. Everyone but me brought chairs, which meant they sat behind the "Blankets only" line. This prevents folks with chairs from blocking the view of the folks using blankets to sit on the grass. Nice idea EXCEPT when you are the only one with a blanket. I sat by myself through the show from a very close to the stage vantage point. Oh well. I talked to the rest of the group before the show and during intermission. I had good snacks. That was important. ;-)

Other Stuff

There are some things I want to write in Other Stuff today, but I am not sure if I should. Notice that I don't have a catchy theme for Saturday? I thought I would use Saturday as an overflow day for a new rant or stuff I want to elaborate on from a previous day. Here it goes -- the story of Ying and Yang. WARNING! This is a very personal topic, so stop reading here if you are not comfortable learning more about my personal life. I do not write graphic accounts of things in my blog. I do share stuff that is important to me for its therapeutic benefits.

I mentioned briefly on Wednesday about two men I nicknamed Ying and Yang. They are the two men that I tortured myself with while battling my codependency issues the past 2.5 years. I bounced back and forth between the relationships even though I knew neither of the wonderful men were right for me (refer to the "battling codependency" comment above!).

Ying is a guy I met online. Very handsome. He was interested in dating me. Please forgive me for saying, but I knew right away that he was not right for me. Something didn't seem quite right. The nicest way I can put it is directing you to the lyrics of the Kelly Clarkson song Beautiful Disaster. He was (and still is) beautiful to me. I manufactured feelings for him because I choose to see the "more heaven than a heart can hold" side of him. He knew about Yang and was horribly jealous and threatened. I always found that odd. Since our relationship was based on codependency almost entirely (except for my strong physical attraction to him), we had some extreme ups and downs. Our current status is that he is dating someone else seriously. I am staying away until we can agree on what our friendship should be. I won't be lured into the "tragedy with More damage than a soul should see" until we can do it in a healthy way for both of us. I miss our long talks and tons of laughter. I don't miss the lies and secrets that can threaten any friendship or relationship.

Yang is a different kind of guy. Very handsome. He was not interested in dating me. Again, the codependency stuff kicked in with me. There was some kind of feeling there that I didn't understand. After a few months, I figured out that God put me in his life to help him get ready for his next relationship. I really didn't understand that. It was obvious that he didn't want a romantic relationship with me no matter how much I tried to woo him (see "dealing with codependency" comment above -- hahahaha). After many extreme ups and downs with this man who runs around in the same social circles I do, he broke off our friendship again. I finally figured out what was going on with the "feelings" I was having. I have never been that good with my feelings and have been working on it. I knew I didn't have a romantic love for Yang. I promised myself that I would never fall for someone who wasn't falling for me, too. I FINALLY figured out that God had put an intense agape love (that is sort of redundant) for Yang in my heart. Agape love can be described as a love that is spiritual and selfless and a model for humanity or Love that is spiritual, not sexual, in its nature. That realization, especially after Yang stopped talking to me, was one of the teenage rants to God I mentioned earlier in this post! God taught me a few things through this experience and is still teaching me things. He put the agape love in my heart for Yang because maybe, just maybe, a strong, stubborn, formidable man like me with an agape love for Yang put in his heart by God could shine some light in the dark places in his heart so Yang could finally have the kind of loving, romantic relationship that God wanted Yang to have. Wow! What a tough gig! I did the best I could. I wish I did a better job. Frankly, I sucked at the agape love stuff. Trust me when I say that I am not meant to be with Yang as a lover or partner. God never told me that (and we are both thankful for that!). God did intend for us to be friends and help each other grow. I think of him as my spiritual younger brother. I pray for him every time I pray. I will rely on God to ensure that the codependency issues and the agape love don't swirl around in my head causing unnecessary confusion and hurtful results for both of us. Who knows? He may even talk to me again some day. I pray for God to surround our friendship with peace and light and for the reconciliation that God wants for us as brothers.

Well, alrighty then. I think I can take $50 OUT of the counseling jar after getting that off my chest! If you finished reading ALL of this, thank you very much for letting me share this with you. One of the things that God is teaching me through all of this is humility. Yes, I have my issues. Yes, I will work through them with God's help. Yes, I will have more compassion for every person who wanders through my life because of the grace that God has shown me. For those things, I can stand a little embarrassment.

Foodie Friday

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Whew! Not as intense today! The devotional talked about a huge island of plastic garbage that could be possible if we allow our oceans to become our garbage dumps. Imagine sailing along on the Queen Mary only to notice an island of garbage the size of Texas! The writer encourages us to be good stewards of the world that God gave man to take care of (Genesis 2:15).

I tried to stretch the interpretation of the devotional into some deep "we have to get rid of our emotional garbage" direction, but it just didn't work! On to the next topic for today!

Foodie Friday

Those who know me would not exactly call me a "foodie". A foodie is someone who enjoys tasting and experiencing all types of foods, whether it be eating out or creating it at home with the finest ingredients. I eat what I like and eat a lot of it! ;-) I belong to a dinner group at church. This experience has prompted me to cook more and experiment more outside my comfort zone of meat and potatoes. I will share a recipe each week, usually something I found and made for the dinner group or another potluck group. I might also share a recipe from friends. There will probably be recipes including potatoes....

The recipe this week is a nice summer salad -- artichoke heart salad. The funny part of the story is that I originally made this up with the help of a handsome man at Whole Foods for a Valentines Day theme (hearts, get it, moving on quickly....).

2 cans quartered artichoke hearts

8 ounces smoked provolone cheese cut up into small blocks

4 ounces of pepperoni slices, quartered (or get the mini pepperoni slices)

8 ounces sliced mushrooms (white mushrooms are fine. I like portabello's)

1 bottle light Zesty Italian dressing (you won't use the entire bottle)

Drain the quartered artichoke hearts. Pour into a bowl with the cheese, pepperoni, and mushrooms. Lightly cover the mixture with some of the Zesty Italian dressing and then toss. Cover with plastic wrap or a lid and refrigerate. This tastes best if it marinates overnight, but I have done a "mix and run" batch before. It still tastes great. You might toss the mixture once or twice if you decide to marinate overnight or for more than a few minutes since the dressing will drain down to the bottom of the bowl.

You can also make this with mozzarella cheese or turkey pepperoni or leave out the mushrooms or play with it any way you want. There are some other dressings out there that would probably taste great with this mixture as well. Enjoy!

Other Stuff

I met some coworkers for a drink after work last night. That was the first time I joined them in the two years since I started with this company. I had a nice time since I sort of knew most of them from projects and meetings.

I plan to attend the Shakespeare in the Park presentation of "Much Ado about Nothing" tonight at Schiller Park with our CGLF group from church. It is supposed to be a nice night for it. I have hummus, pita chips and some other snacks ready for the adventure. I joked with my best friend that the title of the play describes my love life right now during my self-imposed "I love my life and don't need anyone else to make me whole" stage. While it would be nice to have a special someone, I don't plan to leave this stage to return to my "hunting" habits of trying to find someone. God made me a promise. I have faith in that promise.

True Colors

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The devotional this morning talks about the author "showing his colors" for his favorite team by wearing a team tshirt to one of their away games. He was proud to declare that he was a fan, but had to wait a little while to show his colors due to the cold weather. He had a sweatshirt over the the tshirt hiding his colors.

This is one of of those devotionals where I think "Oh, how nice. Someone will get something out of this". Those are the ones that usually hit me between the eyes eventually. Please forgive me if I mentioned the church tshirt joke in a previous entry. Today's devotional reminded me of that joke. I hesitate from wearing the tshirt that identifies me as attending a great church (at least I think it is great because I go there!). Wearing that shirt identifies me as a "fan" by showing my colors. Identifying yourself with a baseball team or a church or as a follower of the Jesus Christ means something. So like the Cindi Lauper song, True Colors (and NOT the Phil Collins version!), can we all show our true colors today? Will we show the colors of God?

Technology Thursday

I decided to make Thursdays "Technology" day. I love technology and gadgets. You never know what I will talk about on these days. I keep up with a lot of technology things and enjoy writing about them. For those who despise everything to do with Apple, you should skip to the Other stuff section now. Today's topic is about recent Apple releases.

iPhone 4: Owners of the new iPhone 4 received a mix bag of gifts and gags. Yes, the phone is thinner, faster, has more features (some that do not make sense), a snazzier screen, and new operating system. On the bad side, the much-aligned antenna problem and some manufacturing issues with the screens and the white version of the phone, continue to plague Apple. Personally, I want to wait until the updated iPhone 4 next year that will fix most of these issues and maybe even support 4G networks. I can live with my 3GS for now (especially since they fixed my rebooting issue with iOS4.0.1).

iPad: Is it revolutionary? Yes. Is it useful? It can be. Is is the must have device of the year? Not sure. I absolutely love my iPad. I use if for the original purpose of my iPod Touch -- to have a relatively small, easy to use device to carry around the house for checking email, surfing the 'Net and other cool stuff. It works very well for me. I am hesitant to take it with me everywhere because it was expensive in my mind (as a early technology adopter, these things usually are). If you like iTunes, you won't mind using the iPad. It is NOT a typical laptop. It is like a big iPod Touch or iPhone. You can get the iPad in a wireless networking only model or a 3G model. The wireless networking model works with home and free public wireless networks such as McDonalds or Starbucks. The 3G version requires a separate data plan from your iPhone that allows you to access the Internet wherever you can access a ATT's 3G network (or you can use a wireless network as well). Check it out. Be sure you understand what you are getting before you buy it. The lack of a usb port, a SD card slot or a DVD drive is a deterrent to many folks. I found the onscreen keyboard very easy to use after getting the right case for it (one that props up at an angle).

iMac: Apple came out with an updated line of iMacs yesterday. I LOVE these one piece computers, but they are too expensive in my opinion. If I ever won the lottery or just felt like blowing some money, I would buy one immediately. Until then, I will build my own Windows-based computers for less than half the price (and way less cool factor).

Other Stuff

I had to go to an ENT yesterday because of an ear infection that was getting worse each day. ;-( He worked on my left ear and checked out the right ear, my nose and my throat. I do not have a sinus infection, for which I am thankful. I have to put drops in my ears twice a day for several days for the infection to heal.

I scheduled my certification test for Tuesday, Aug 3. Yikes! I didn't do as well on the practice exam as what I wanted. I will study each day until the test. I will let you know how it goes.

We-way-shun-ship Wednesday is here!

ODB.org

"Expert repair' is the devotional today. I laughed when I read it. I am an apprentice handy man, meaning I can sort of fix stuff sometimes, however, it will take me a LOT longer to get it done! The funniest example is the first time I installed a water line for an automatic ice maker. The home improvement store wanted $75 to install it. I said "Heck no, I can do that!" FOUR HOURS later I finally got it installed! I am proud to say the next two times I installed a water line it took me about 30 minutes each time!

That is sort of the point in the devotional. There can be discomfort or even pain in repairing the things that are broken in our lives. Sometimes we don't even know something is broken because it has always been that way! My family had a joke when I was a child that the car manufacturer Ford stood for "Fix or repair daily". I challenge each of us to make this our prayer to God -- "Fix or repair me daily, O Lord". The temporary pain and discomfort is more than worth the results! (see the next section for an example...)

We-way-shun-ship Wednesday

Some folks may think that most of prayers the past few years have been about my health. There have been a lot of prayers and needs there. The most "active" area of my life has been personal growth in the area of relationships. My relationship of 11.5 years to a wonderful man ended about three years ago. That was one of the most difficult things I have ever experienced. At least I was unconscious when the doctors cut the cancer out of my body! The pain subsided a few days later.

So I started counseling. I started praying. I knew I could be a better husband. A better friend. A better everything! I made a lot of mistakes. I hurt some people along the way. I bounced back and forth between two very special men while I was dealing with my codependency issues, hurting them and myself in my confusion (I will discuss "Ying and Yang" more in a later post). I never really thought about that being an issue for me since I have always been very independent.

Where am I now? I am in maintenance mode. Through the counseling and many prayers, sometimes knock-down-drag-out arguments with God, He has delivered me from these issues. I cannot maintain this without relying on God. There are still times where I am attracted to a handsome man that I describe as "bearish and broken". :-p

Through all of the struggle, God has taught me to rely on Him while making my dating decisions. I feel that I have His promise that my next someone special is on his way into my life. I am finally ready. So, God, please... please continue to Fix Or Repair Me daily so I can be the kind of man I want to be. To be the kind of man that my special someone wants and needs.

Other stuff

I finished the book "Conquering Fear" last night. I will review the highlighted points again. I found it very interesting and helpful. I never thought of myself as a fearful person. I discovered that some of the "scenarios" that I think about too much and some of my odd dreams are based on fears. As part of my FORD prayer, I am asking God to help me identify and face my fears head on like I do everything else in my life.

I am taking a certification test for work on Aug 3, so most of my reading will be studying this week. I have the book "The Power of Two" in my briefcase to start next.

Quite the struggle...

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Lessons of Obedience -- what other phrase could sum up my life for the past few years as I sought to be closer to God -- as I sought to have the fervor of my youth? If you are human, then lessons of obedience usually suck! They are unpleasant, humiliating, scary and yet also wonderful, comforting, calming and invigorating. So what does it mean when someone tries to teach you a lesson of obedience? Such a person, whether it is a parent, teacher, coach, minister, etc. usually knows something about you. They can know some of your strengths and weaknesses. With God, it shows that He cares. He knows enough about our strength and weaknesses to help us find what is best for our lives. There is no script for each of our lives. There is a set of guidelines that folks have understood a little better over the centuries since God created us all.

For me, there were several lessons of obedience. First, to become more self-disciplined. Those who know me probably think that I am very disciplined already. Yes and No. There are some areas of my life where I am very, very disciplined and very good at getting things done. Not so much in other areas. The two year struggle with my eye issues has had several lessons of obedience and self-discipline. The last three years has culminated in some new self-discipline standards for myself that I put into place in the last three months. Why all of this growth? Why am I pushing myself as I enter my 50s? Two reasons I have seen so far: for my own good and so I can share my experiences with others. Stay tuned...

iTunes Tuesday

I decided to make today "iTunes Tuesday". I love music. I love my iPods. I joke with my friends that my iPods (yes, I have several of them) are like my pets. I gave a friend one my iPods that I wasn't using very much because hers was stolen. I told her "I am doing this because I think you will give it a good home!" Anyway, I love music. Almost any kind of music. I can listen to almost anything, though some kinds of music only hold my attention for a few minutes before my head starts to spin, like Barbershop, rap or very heavy metal. hehehe

The latest additions to my music library are some songs that I am surprised I didn't buy earlier. I purchased a few songs by Mr Mister (are you old enough to remember them? Yikes!). One of my favorite songs is Kyrie. It is an anthem for me each day. Here is a link to the lyrics I don't understand them all, but I like them.

Music also brings humor into my life sometimes. I also purchased the song "Rich Girl" by Gwen Stefani. In my silly mind, I wanted to make it the ring tone for my best friend on my iPhone! I told him that last night. We laughed and laughed. It is the simple things in life that can be the most fun.

Lastly, I added the 2 for 1 album by the Newsboys. The album has the original version of each song and one remix of each song. Very cool. I listen to contemporary Christian music the most when I drive and when I walk. I also have some thump-thump music for walking as well.

Other Stuff

Tomorrow is We-way-shun-ship Wednesday. If you haven't seen the movie The Princess Bride, rent it sometime. Like I mentioned the other day, relationships is not my area of expertise. I will share what I have been feeling and experiencing the past three years since the breakup of my LTR. We will laugh, we will cry, we will sing selections from Cats....

My opinion about reality TV...

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My opinion about reality TV doesn't seem to have anything to do with the devotional this morning, so bear with me a for a few minutes. The devotional talks about a young girl with many illnesses who dies before the age of nine. The points being made are: we can learn from anyone on the planet, regardless of their stature in life AND the world is not reserved for the pretty, athletic, intelligent or healthy. The scripture reference talks about each part of the church being equally important.

What does this have to do with reality TV? I believe it became so popular because people want to see folks whose life sucks more than theirs! Admit it. It is a more than a little comforting to see someone struggling more than you are. It makes you feel more than a little validated and more than a little superior! If you are somewhat enlightened, you might even feel thankful that your life is not as bad.

I propose that consider being truly thankful. Being thankful for what we have, for who we are, for the people in our lives, etc, -- being thankful for what we have. Not being thankful for what we don't have, like some terribly affliction like Erin. Just a thought...

Movie Monday

I decided to make Monday my movie day. Since I completed my second masters degree earlier in July (YES! I am thankful to be done!), I have more time to attend movies. Attending movies is one of my favorite activities. It can be sort of expensive, so I try to take advantage of coupons, movie watcher clubs, matinees, etc. to reduce the cost of going to the theater. I also have a home theater setup that I enjoy a great deal.

The movie I saw this weekend was Salt. It is an action thriller starring Angelina Jolee. After all the hype, I wasn't sure what to expect. I enjoyed the movie a lot. There was action, though sometimes implausible along the lines of a James Bond movie, and an interesting plot with twists and turns. Very cool.

When I thought about having a movie day on my blog, I wondered if I wanted to rate each movie. What cute notation would I use? Thumbs? A rating percentage? A scale of 1 to 10? Yes, I do think about things too much sometimes (refer to my over active mind in a previous post). Since I am a bear, I decided to use a scale of bear paws from 1 to 4. Silly, I know, but I can't be intense all the time. I do have a sense of humor.

I give Salt 3 1/2 paws.

Please understand that I am not as critical as the "critics". I like what I like for whatever reasons. Here is a list of the movies I watched at the theater or at home the past few weeks:

The Princess Bride

Willow

West Side Story

2001 A Space Odyssey

Inception

Despicable Me

Good Fellas

Predators

The Last Airbender

Other Stuff

Lastly, I plan to work on my weight loss goals again. I have been off the wagon for the past few months after I figured out I couldn't maintain the pace I set for myself earlier in the year. My weight bounces around a lot. I will figure out what to do next and make it happen. I am fortunate to have some friends who encourage my exercise. Many thanks to my walking buddy for making the walking at lunch time more enjoyable!

You have got to be kidding me...

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Remember when I said that the Our Daily Bread devotionals usually smack me right in the face? I couldn't believe my eyes when I read the devotional for this morning - "Fix your eyes". This obviously has a dual meaning for me as I have been struggling to do just that for the past two years - fix my eyes. While the status of my eye issues is in "healing" mode for the rest of the summer (the doctors will re-evaluate next steps in September), the struggle to fix my eyes on God remains something that occurs from second to second. Here is some insight into how I think (for those who are squeamish, stop here, hehehe) -- my overly active mind is always trying to solve some problem from work or thinking about a close friend or thinking about my family or (the scary part) thinking about "scenarios". I like to plan and prepare whenever possible. Somewhere along the way I got into a habit of thinking about scenarios with people that would never, ever happen. Imaginary interactions that often upset me when I think of how the unlikely events would turn out. Like I said, I like to prepare and plan, so my plan is to "fix my eyes" and my mind and my whole being on the living God that is real rather than the ludicrous scenarios that distract me from being the man I want to be.

Wow, that was more intense than I intended. I have been thinking about this topic a lot this weekend as I had time to myself. If you get time to comment, what kinds of things, thoughts, etc distract you from fixing your eyes on the living God?

This blog

I also thought (being the planner I am) about the structure of this blog. I decided on a planned structure, but I am not going to be totally rigid about it. There will be some days or weeks that will be ad hoc. Yes, I am capable of ad hoc. ;-) Here is the plan for now:

Sunday - Friends

Monday - music

Wednesday - We-way-shun-ship Wednesday (watched Princess Bride last night)

Friday - Recipes

Those who know me realize I don't know a lot about the Wednesday or Friday topics, but I will give it a shot!

Friends

My first friend entry is about my best friend. We have known each other for over 16 years now (we can't remember the exact year we met). We met in a Internet group mailing list back before the World Wide Web became popular (I should write a short history on the Internet sometime). Since then, we email and call each other multiple times per week. I appreciate the friendship the most because I don't have to "maintain" it. Do you know what I mean? I don't always have to be the one that calls or writes to say "What is going on with you?" Our friendship developed into something we describe as "closer than brothers". I thank God for the love and support that he has given me, especially the past three years after the breakup of my LTR (long term relationship).

We are also travel buddies. Do you know how difficult it is to find a travel buddy? We like many of the same things and have the same attention span for museums, etc. I drag his butt into adventures he wouldn't have otherwise done. He grounds me with his attention to detail about our destinations and the unique perspective he brings to each trip. I learned how NOT to take Airborne, how the power of medication can make any trip bearable and how a brave little man can inspire you to continue to push your life forward wherever you travel.

After amazing adventures in Hawaii and NYC in the last year, our next trip will be to San Francisco in September. I am looking forward to it. I am still trying to talk him into the trip to Australia. hehehe

Thank you, my friend. I love you very much, my brother.

Going forward...

I thought a lot about what to put in this blog. First, I will post my thoughts about the Our Daily Bread devotional each day. It is amazing how timely the devotionals are for my life! Second, I will post stuff about my "no ordinary life" like travel, activities, church, friends and relationships. Personal growth means a lot to me as I continue to push myself to grow and evolve into the kind of man I want to be. One friend said I was like "a freakin' phoenix"! If that were the case, then I wouldn't have as many wrinkles!

Today's ODB devotional (http://odb.org/) is called "Sphere of influence". It talked about several people that had extraordinary realms of influence for their position in life. Do each of us realize our sphere of influence? How many people do you see a day and how many see you? Do people learn things about you without even talking to you? I have a joke with one of my minister's that I don't like to wear our church t-shirt to things like the AIDS Walk or Pride parade because it means I have to be nice to people! I don't want to cast a bad light on the church! Our conversations evolved into the obvious "shouldn't we act the same way whether or not we have the t-shirt on"? Of course, the answer is yes! I will work on that.

The 2010 AIDS Walk was held this morning in Columbus at the beautiful Franklin Conservatory grounds. I am ashamed to say that I hadn't walked in a few years. I am not sure if the turn out was good or bad. All I know is that it was HOT, though a gentle breeze made the short walk bearable. I walked with our church group wearing the church t-shirt (and yes, I was nice). I thought of all my current and former friends with the disease. I promised myself (and them) that I would make more of an effort to raise money for the CATF. I heard that the number of cases is increasing and the contributions are decreasing. Not good.

Lastly, I started arranging music again this week for a male trio at church. I hadn't done that in over twenty years. Wow. Where does the time go? I plan to finish the draft of the second song this afternoon. We plan to sing at least one of the songs at church on Aug 15. The two songs are It is Well with my Soul and He.

If I could turn back time....

If I could turn back time, I would have started this blog much earlier. I wouldn't have wasted time with all the online chats or avoided the online world altogether. For those who don't know me well, I am the subject matter expert for a social networking application at a large insurance agency in Columbus, Ohio. I do social networking stuff all day long!

I canceled all of my online accounts last Fall. I wasn't meeting the kind of guys or other friends that I was looking for. I will blog about some of my experiences with the online world here and there.

The main point of this blog is to document my spiritual journey and personal growth. This is an awkward thing to do on a blog since I am primarily a private person and try to respect the privacy of my friends and family. I will do my best to be generic in my references to friends and family though saying things like "my sister" or "my mom" narrow down the possible identities!

Thank you for reading. I will keep writing. Duane