I have been nervous about the two eye doctor appointments I had this week. My first appointment on Wednesday afternoon with my regular eye doctor went very well. Both eyes are showing improvement. I need to keep my blood sugar and blood pressure down so the healing can continue. My next visit is in six months. I will continue my activity restrictions until then. The last time I started my normal activities, my left eye started bleeding! I don't want that to happen again!
The second eye doctor (the cataract eye doctor) appointment went fine, but I had to be firm with him. He told me about the option to have one eye see distance and one eye to see up close. I made it very clear from the beginning that is NOT what I wanted. It turns out that is what I got any way! Oh HECK no! He also tried to minimize my secondary cataract issue that causes a foggy appearance through the right eye. After a little talk (hehehe), his eye sight started to see things MY way! hehehe. We are going to fix the secondary cataract on Monday. After that minor surgery heals, we will evaluate my prescription again to see if we need corrective surgery on the right eye to make my eye sight 20/20 again. I am not being bitchy here. Having the eyes see two different things works for many folks. It does NOT work for me! I had that scenario for many months before the cataract surgery. It drove me nuts! It screwed up my depth perception horribly! I can barely walk on uneven ground because I can't judge distances very well. It sucks! This too shall pass...
I am also having an adventure with my house. I found out Wednesday morning that I have a leak just outside my house that is filling my sump pump tank with water over and over. After having my sump pump go out when I was on vacation recently, I knew I had to do something about the water problem. I have a contractor visiting me tomorrow (Friday) to fix the issue. Like many things that I do with my house, I am having it done the right way even though it is costing me more than I want to pay (I am frugal!). I can add this to the "I won't have to deal with this again" check list and list it as a selling point for my house. Whew!
As you can see, having no ordinary life has its not so ordinary ups and downs. Everyone has ups and downs. With great blessing and great accomplishments also comes great responsibility. Dealing with the challenges and the responsibilities can be overwhelming at times. Overwhelmed is what I have been feeling the past week. Not even movies or writing have sounded enjoyable to me.
So how does one "snap out" of such a period? I really don't have a great answer for that question. It is different for each person. I am still working through the my personal answer right now. Interestingly enough, I was reminded of a story by Robert Hastings while shopping at Target tonight. I met the author many years ago. He was a wonderful man. Please read the story at the end of this entry (or here).
The root of my angst this time? I feel like God has let me down. Silly, huh? It doesn't seem silly when you feel like a promise was broken. Actually, it hasn't been broken, is just hasn't been acted upon in my time frame. My time frame is what is important, isn't it? ;-) There are many reasons that God hasn't fulfilled this promise yet. I know many of them. He is still teaching me the rest. So until that promise and the other promises that God made to me are fulfilled, I will do my best to fulfill my promises to Him. Apparently, I am much worse at keeping my promises to Him than He is keeping His promises to me! DOH! So as the story The Station says, I will keep living as I go along instead of counting the miles or pacing the aisles. This is my prayer for you as well. Will write more tomorrow...
THE STATION
By Robert J. Hastings
TUCKED AWAY in our subconscious minds is an idyllic vision in which we see ourselves
on a long journey that spans an entire continent. We're traveling by train and, from the
windows, we drink in the passing scenes of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at
crossings, of cattle grazing in distant pastures, of smoke pouring from power plants, of row
upon row upon row of cotton and corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of city skylines and
village halls.
But uppermost in our conscious minds is our final destination--for at a certain hour and on a
given day, our train will finally pull into the station with bells ringing, flags waving, and bands
playing. And once that day comes, so many wonderful dreams will come true. So restlessly, we
pace the aisles and count the miles, peering ahead, waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.
"Yes, when we reach the station, that will be it!" we promise ourselves. "When we're
eighteen. . . win that promotion. . . put the last kid through college. . . buy that 450SL
Mercedes-Benz. . . have a nest egg for retirement!"
From that day on we will all live happily ever after.
Sooner or later, however, we must realize there is no station in this life, no one earthly
place to arrive at once and for all. The journey is the joy. The station is an illusion--it
constantly outdistances us. Yesterday's a memory, tomorrow's a dream. Yesterday belongs to a
history, tomorrow belongs to God. Yesterday's a fading sunset, tomorrow's a faint sunrise. Only
today is there light enough to love and live.
So, gently close the door on yesterday and throw the key away. It isn't the burdens of today
that drive men mad, but rather regret over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and
fear are twin thieves who would rob us of today.
"Relish the moment" is a good motto, especially when coupled with Psalm 118:24, "This is
the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."
So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, swim more rivers, climb more
mountains, kiss more babies, count more stars. Laugh more and cry less. Go barefoot oftener.
Eat more ice cream. Ride more merry-go-rounds. Watch more sunsets. Life must be lived as we
go along. The station will come soon enough.
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