Our Daily Bread
The devotional struck a funny cord with me this morning as many years of endless conversations about the nature of God rushed through my tiny brain. I thought about how my views about this have changed as well. I am writing some of those thoughts in the Simply Saturday section below. My mind was a complete blank about what to write today until I read the devotional! God works in mysterious ways!
Have you met someone or heard a preacher talk about prosperity Christianity? These folks (or as my minister teases "those people") believe that every Christian, when living right, will experience the utmost prosperity here on earth. If you don't have a big house or fancy new car, then you aren't living right in the eyes of God. Hmmmmm. Does that really make sense? I don't remember Jesus mentioning anything about that.
The other philosophy that I have a problem with is the "God is testing me" philosophy. Hmmmmmm. That one doesn't make sense either. Read the book of Job. Really read it. Don't assume that you already know the story (like I did when I reread it in D1 class). God didn't do the testing. God allowed Job to be tested. God never allows anything to happen to us that we can't bear. Trust. Rely. Let go. All of these things help us grow closer to him if we truly turn things over. Your life can be "not ordinary". ;-)
Lord, help us turn our lives over to you in every situation. Thank you for working in our lives!
Simply Saturday
Like I said above, I had no clue what to write this morning. The devotional inspired this entry (or rant, whatever you want to call it!). The topic is: the easy life.
I don't know much about this topic if you look at my life. To be honest, I am thankful my life has happened this way. Let me share a few things.
Health stuff:
My health history is spanning two pages in a Word document now. Even at that, I consider myself fortunate because there are folks that are a LOT worse off than me. There are folks that will never be able to be active or recover from their health issues. My friends tease me that I am like a phoenix, rising from the flames after each challenge! I have to give all the glory to God for this. He has given me the strength and determination to overcome over and over. Each time I learn more about myself and more about turning things over to God. I am grateful because of the person that I am becoming. I still have a long way to go to godliness!
Being gay:
I have been thinking about being gay a lot lately, probably because June is Pride Month. I have been getting more involved in sharing my faith with others and this issue always comes up. While researching some beliefs, I looked at the Gay Christian Network web site. The "side A" and "side B" discussion upset me. While I believe the Bible with all my heart, I do not believe that God stopped revealing himself to us thousands of years ago. Why use it as the only reference to God for every situation? The skies can't hold all that can be written about our God! We barely have the Cliff Notes in our Bible! Whatever happened to personal experience? Please let me share mine.
I didn't learn to accept myself as a Christian who happens to be gay because of scripture. The epiphany for me was standing at the bathroom sink one morning when I was 29 (more than a few years ago now!). I looked in the mirror and asked God: "What am I supposed to do?" when trying to decide if I was returning to the Baptist seminary in Louisville. I poured out my heart and told God "I can't do this any more. How can I do the things you called me to do if I am gay? They are kicking gay people out of seminary now!". I felt a wonderful calm come over me. I heard a voice in my head as clearly as talking to someone face to face: "Why are you fighting me on this? I made you this way for a reason." What the heck? That is the point in my life where I started coming out to family and friends. Being what God made me is a wonderful thing! Knowing that I didn't have to fight him about it any more was such a relief! Now, what did he mean by "I made you this way for a reason"?
While reading the devotional this morning, I realized that God calling me to be gay is the blessing I prayed for my whole life. Is it easy? Heck no. Any gay Christian will tell you that. It is almost like a second "coming out." You don't really fit in the gay world because you value different things in many cases. You don't always fit in the Christian world because of the false belief that God hates queers (at least that is what the haters's signs say!). ;-( So how is this working out for me? I feel like I have spent many years in the "wilderness" trying to figure some things out. I still don't feel ready for what lies ahead for me. I will let go. I will trust. I will step forward.
Do I recommend this life? If God takes the time to make you different, then you better be different! When responding to college friends who criticized me for saying "God called me to be gay", I told them this -- if I can help one gay youth not take his or her life or lead just one gay person to the Lord, then my life has been worth it. All the criticism and challenges have been worth it. Worth it indeed...
"My people" and all people need the Lord. I will be strong. I will stand. I will not back down. I am living the life that God blessed me with -- a life that is not ordinary. What life is he calling you to? Be what he called you to be!
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Let go, my friends! God will be there to catch you and hold you in his loving arms!
Guide my feet, dear Lord. Running this race in vain is NOT an option...
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