"... and words are all I have to take your heart away". Nothing like the lyrics from an old BeeGees song to get your day started! hehehe If you don't know who the BeeGees are, then ask your mom and dad! Ha!
The devotional talks about using the right words when speak about God and his glory. We don't need nor should we speak in "lofty" words or extremely complicated words to communicate the simple message of God's love.
I attended a small Christian college and then attended seminary for two semesters. The preacher boys were always trying to outdo each other with their orations about God. I find myself trying to be too "smart" sometimes about the Bible or about things in general. I am ashamed to admit that I am sometimes an intellectual bully. God is helping me with that.
Lord, I want to speak your words so that even a child can understand your love.
Wee-way-shun-ship Wednesday
How to be a friend...
This is a lofty topic for such a silly bear as me. I will give it my best shot. These are the things that I try to do with new and old friends. I hope you get some good out of what I wrote.
Spend time together
It is hard to be a friend with someone if you don't spend face to face time together, if only at the beginning of the friendship. There is so much to be learned from the body language of an individual that "registers" the person in our minds in many ways. I can't really explain it, but here is an example: I have a friend that has some physical characteristics when he is thinking or uncomfortable. I can see those things when we are face to face. When we are texting or calling or emailing, I sometimes refer to those things if I say something that might make him show one of those characteristics. "OK are your eye brows furled?" "Are you rubbing your hands together?" Getting to know each other face to face helps to grow the friendship when you are apart. I have a close friend that I only see once a year. We know we will always be close friends even though we don't see each other.
Listen
It is important to really listen to what the person says, especially if you can't be face to face. Don't rely on phone calls, texts or emails to think "I really know him or her". Frankly, that is naive. The inflections in a person's voice can tell you a lot that texts or emails cannot. The phrase "I really like you" can take on completely different meanings when spoken different ways. Be sure you listen to what the person is telling you. Warning: if you are doing all the listening, then this person might not be a good friend candidate. Granted, there are times when we all need to vent. Be careful if you are always doing all the listening!
Talk
You need to talk about yourself. That is not easily done. There is always give and take in a friendship when it comes to what to share and when. There are some folks that you will never share beyond casual history and maybe connect some dots through friends. There are other folks that can talk about anything from day one! It depends on what kind of person you are. The bottom line is: if you want to develop a close friendship, then you need to make yourself vulnerable by talking about yourself. This trust can be built up over time.
Remember
My memory is sort of scary sometimes. :-O I remember simple details or other stuff long after the person tells me. I sometimes forget things so don't be offended if I forgot something about you! hehehe I sometimes take notes about stuff. I remember things like where they went to college (or not), where they are from, what they do, number of siblings, name(s) of pets and other personal information that seems important. If you care about someone as a friend, then remember stuff. There are few things more frustrating that feeling like each lunch or dinner with a new friend is like the movie "50 First Dates" where you have to start from scratch each time you meet! hehehe
Care
Have you met some folks that just don't seem to care about you as a friend? You try to listen, talk, remember and care with them, but they just can't seem to do this in return? I have a casual friend that refuses to remember my birthday even though I wrote his down and have remembered it several times. Be careful of these folks. They are sending you a message. They are either unable or unwilling to care about you as a friend. Being a friend means making friends a priority in your life. If you can't remember friends, then you are too busy.
In conclusion
You have to be a friend if you want to have friends. You have to care if you want people to care about you. It is not easy putting yourself out there for new friendships.
Please note this is about friendship -- not about dating. "Being friends" or "just friends" in the context of dating or a potential romantic relationship can drastically change the rules of friendship. I recommend being a friend first, then determining what might happen next. Freeing yourself of the "we might be more than friends someday" weight can make the friendship more meaningful.
Other Stuff
I ran a few errands last night, then did a few things around the house. I also had a fun text conversation with a new buddy. Yes, we are going to spend some face to face time this evening. I read what I wrote above! hehehe He seems like a sweet guy. We have similar life stories. I think we will be great friends.
I have my D2 class tonight. We are going to watch the first half of The Ten Commandments and discuss. Should be interesting.
Hang in there, my friends. I will be upbeat and steady. That is what I do...
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