Haven't felt like a conqueror...

Our Daily Bread
I loved the scripture and the message of the devotional today.  God spoke to me again about how he is with me (us) and how he wants me (us) to be whole.  Hallelujah!

Lately, I have not felt like a conqueror.  I don't feel like "I can do all things through Christ".  I have felt like I let God down and myself down.  So why am I writing about this?  One of the things that God is perfecting in me is "being real".  For many years, I was a solid, steady man on the outside, but as a friend says, a "hot mess" on the inside!  I was not real.  God is working on making the core of me the way he wants it to be so my core can shine through to the outside.  This has been intense to say the least.  Did I mention this has been intense!  hehehe

During the process, God helped me to realize more about myself.  To compare my personality to a Biblical character, I am more like David from the Old Testament than I am like Luke from the New Testament.  Yes, I try to be upbeat and steady.  That is not always what is happening from my core.  When I am not upbeat and steady, it is usually because God is doing some more purification work (like yesterday).  I usually prefer to be alone.  I try not to think about my scenarios.  I try to pray or yell or whisper what is really on my heart to God.

What Biblical character are you like?

Lord, I want to know myself so I can better determine your will and hear your voice.

Psalm Sunday
So after working through thirteen psalms so far, I finally figured out why God had me do this series -- so I could learn more about myself from my role model, David.  As I mentioned above, I am probably more like David than I am any other Biblical character I read about.  Let's look at Psalm 14:

Psalm 14

For the director of music. Of David.
 1 The fool says in his heart,
   “There is no God.”
They are corrupt, their deeds are vile;
   there is no one who does good.

 2 The LORD looks down from heaven
   on all mankind
to see if there are any who understand,
   any who seek God.
3 All have turned away, all have become corrupt;
   there is no one who does good,
   not even one.

 4 Do all these evildoers know nothing?

   They devour my people as though eating bread;
   they never call on the LORD.
5 But there they are, overwhelmed with dread,
   for God is present in the company of the righteous.
6 You evildoers frustrate the plans of the poor,
   but the LORD is their refuge.

 7 Oh, that salvation for Israel would come out of Zion!
   When the LORD restores his people,
   let Jacob rejoice and Israel be glad!

The more I read the psalms of David, the more I learn about myself.  I see how I pray sort of follows the ups and down like David's prayers.  Music speaks to him more than anything.  He expresses himself best through music.  He is a natural leader.  He does things when others aren't brave enough to even try.  Yeah, that is me. God had me start this series so I can learn how David became more upbeat and steady.  I can do this...


Other Stuff
I had a restful day on Saturday.  I ran a few errands.  I did some reading.  I mowed the lawn.  I watched a couple of old movies.  It was a good day except for the "thinking too much" part.  God is trying to teach me about motivation.  About leading where I need to go.  About being open to his will.

Going to early church and then the movies today.  I will rest when I get home.

Hang in there, my friends!  I will be upbeat and steady.  That is what I do...