Say what?

Our Daily Bread
I really don't understand the writings of John in Revelation even though I started studying them at an early age (12 years old).  My thought is why focus on understanding something that no one can really understand or predict?

The other thought I had about the devotion is the idea of the church being the bride of Christ.  I never really liked that symbolism either.  I guess I need to understand what that means in the culture of the time of writing.  It does not make sense to me in this age.

I loved the final saying:

Good deeds don’t make a Christian,
but a Christian does good deeds.

Very cool.  I can focus on that message.  I understand that one...  hehehe

Lord, I don't always understand your mysteries.  I do understand loving you and loving others.


Simply Saturday
I had a odd week.  Whew...  Sort of busy at work.  Sort of busy at home.  Not feeling my best (probably due to my weight gain).  Had to work late tonight (thus the early morning posting).

The work stuff went well tonight.  I am thankful.  I had two weird issues that we resolved quickly.  Both of them were potential "all-nighter" kinds of things.  We figured them out quickly.  Whew!

I did a few things around the house this week.  I also started a new book.  This one is short, but it is having an impact on me so far...

I want to praise God for working in my life.  I am not always the most obedient or attentive child of God.  I am trying to be more consistent in those areas as well.  Paying attention to God providing my needs vs wants has been a big deal for me.  For example, I prayed for something very specific on Tuesday night.  It was what I wanted, not what I needed.  Our merciful God provided what I needed on Wednesday.  I am very thankful. Yes, like in my computer job, we can put out little fires all over or we can get to the root of the problem and fix it.  That is what God is doing.  Did I mention how grateful I am?  ;-)

So next is healing for me.  One of the things the new book mentioned is that it is really no use praying for healing when you continue to do the destructive behavior that causes the problem!  Yikes!  Did that slap me in my big, overgrown belly or what?  I know I have talked about my eating habits a lot in this blog.  I am embarrassed to say they are still an issue for me.  I will be disciplined for a short time, then binge one day after another.  That is obviously not healthy.  I will continue to pray for other kinds of healing, like healing my mind when it comes to eating.  I eat when I am stressed, regardless if I am hungry or not.  I eat inappropriate portions.  Eating this way also damages my psyche as I realize that I haven't truly turned it over to God  Why should God heal me when I will just get sick again from this?

The other thing that I realized this why some things happened the way they did this year.  It was difficult for me to admit some things to myself, but I did.  I apologized to the person I offended.  I was very sad, but I know God has forgiven me.  I think I have forgiven myself.  I need to move on and let the healing begin so I don't act this way in a relationship again.  Insecurity and selfishness is never pretty.  ;-/  I praise God that he is teaching this old bear some new things.  I praise him indeed.

So I have two potlucks to attend this weekend.  A friend's birthday party.  My church dinner group.  I am very excited about them.  I posted the recipes I am going make yesterday.

Please understand that through all of my rants and writings that I love God as best as I can.  I know I have a lot of areas where I need improvement.  I know I have come a long way from where I was.  I also know that God has given me more love to give that I can stand sometimes.  He has also shown me the essence of me that he is most proud of.  I am so thankful.

Hang in there, my friends.  I will be upbeat and steady.  That is what I do...