Fearless?

Our Daily Bread
I often describe myself as "fearless".  I have to admit that it is not always true in every part of my life.  Am I fearless when talking in front of people?  Usually.  Am I fearless when being myself?  Usually.  Am I fearless in my relationships?  Uhhh, let me get back to you on that one!  hehehe

God brought this devotional into my life today for a good reason.  I am struggling with fear in two relationships right now.  The first is my relationship with mi tigre.  If I am honest with myself, I am afraid of making the wrong choice, afraid of looking like an idiot because I made the wrong choice, and afraid that I will get hurt by a man again.  Hmmm....  The second relationship is with Yang.  Yes, he is still around, but in a much different role in my life.  I even told him that I didn't want to be friends any more.  I am not sure why this relationship has been so odd for me.  God is using today's devotional to open up the secret to that mystery.  I have no idea what the fear is here.  I have already been rejected and looked like an idiot!  hehehe  Oh well.  I think I am afraid that I haven't done everything I am supposed to do with this relationship.  I have no idea what that means at this point.  I am afraid I am letting God down by letting go of this friendship and moving on to focus on ones that are healthier for me.  Every friend I told about this decision supported me and asked why I didn't do it years ago!  God only knows.

So what do we do to overcome fear?  Whew... I know the words to say here, but I don't always do them.  The secret is trusting in God completely.  What does "completely" mean?  A professor in seminary said "trust God for every breath"!  His wife and I didn't really understand that at the time.  It wasn't until I trusted an oxygen mask for my next breath that I started to understand the concept.  "Releasing" things to God is a concept I learned a few months ago.  It seems to help me make a conscious effort to truly release things to God on a daily basis.  I say things like "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, please help me release Yang over to you".  Releasing is not a "cop out"mechanism.  It is a way to acknowledge and turn things over to God to trust him more and drive out fear!  Try it today.

Lord, thank you for being there for us.  Please help us to release our cares upon you because you care for us!

Movie Monday
I rented a movie on Amazon Instant Video yesterday.  I never saw the latest Twilight movie in the theaters.  ;-P  Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 was OK.  I like vampire and werewolf movies.  I am not interested in either of the mail lead actors, thought I would stalk the chubby, furry older brother of Taylor Lautner if he existed!  hehehe  Just being a silly bear here.  Just kidding!

The movie is about the spectacular wedding of Bela and Edward.  And it was spectacular!  There was lots of drama and angst.  Lots of plot twists.  It was interesting, but not riveting.  Part 2 will be interesting when it comes out this year.

I give this movie one bear paw.  It was OK.

Other Stuff
I worked out before church, but misjudged the time.  I missed early church!  Yikes!  I made it in time for the choir rehearsal.  I had a good workout on my recumbent bike and my Bowflex.  I plan to take today off and workout again tomorrow.  I plan to get up early and workout before work (since I can just walk down to my basement now!).

Sunday afternoon was exciting -- I shredded old financial records!  woohoooo!  This big gay lifestyle just wears me out sometimes!  ha!  I have a few more years to go and some other boxes to go through.  I am trying to clean up the junk I have in my basement.  I have too much stuff on the shelves.  I am making room for my ideal exercise area and will make it happen!  ;-)

I watched a little TV and finished my Sunday chores.  The interesting thing on TV was the show Sanctuary.  I used to watch it two years ago and DVRd it when I got cable again recently.  The episode ended with a big ol' Lesbian kiss!  Who knew?  hehehe  I thought I would like the show Being Human, but it was disappointing.  Oh well.

I had some nice conversations with mi tigre.  We celebrated our three month anniversary yesterday.  We are both sappy about stuff like that.  I care about him very much.  We will see where this relationship will go.  We were able to talk about fun stuff and serious stuff.  Doing the workout stuff together is a lot of fun for both of us!

Let go, my friends!  God will be there to catch you and hold you in his loving arms!